Right! Let’s crack on with August, shall we, for goodness sake!
My first show of the month took me back to DPW, for their show in Morley Town Hall. This once again involved an early morning flight to Leeds. Generally, I don’t really have that much of a problem getting a decent enough sleep the night before a flight; I guess, though, in the back of my mind, there’s always that worry that I’ll oversleep and miss the flight. I tend to set two alarms, so, to put my mind at ease! This usually helps me relax, and get a few hours. For some reason, however, this time I had a lot of difficulty getting off to sleep, and ended up waking way too early too, into the bargain. Not being able to get back to sleep for a few hours, I stuck on two episodes of Twin Peaks to keep me entertained until I had to get up and go to the airport. The lack of sleep would catch up with me later in the day, as I really didn’t count on what a busy show it was gonna be!
The flight, at any rate, was absolutely fine, and I was picked up by Gemma, sister of David, the promoter. She’s always been really kind, looking after me, anytime I’m over. I headed to my hotel for a little while, half-intending to get a few hours’ sleep. At this point, though, I was wide awake, and didn’t feel sleepy. I ended up watching some crappy teen makeover show on the BBC where a ‘scene/emo’ kid (with an appalling haircut) and a camp-as-Christmas ‘trendy’ guy were both made over into looking like rappers, or garage MCs, like that dizzy rascal fellow. Both were gobshites, and ended up reverting to their former appearances shortly after the show. Thirty minutes of this pitiful TV was more than flesh and blood could stand, so I opted to head out, and get something to eat. The fates were against me, unfortunately, and whilst out and about, I got absolutely lashed on, and was soaked to the skin. There were no restaurants nearby, either, so I got a sandwich in a local petrol station; a sandwich, I should note, that I never got to eat! While in the petrol station, I got a call from David, who asked if I’d mind taking an impromptu training seminar at the venue, as the original trainer hadn’t turned up. I agreed, and within a few minutes, he picked me up, and we were at the Town Hall.
I enjoyed the class, and found most of the guys and girls taking part were really sound to deal with, and just got on with the training. The only minor annoyance was having to deal with three irritating guys, who just got on my nerves. They’d done backyard wrestling before, but I don’t think they’d trained professionally, and their attitudes pissed me off. One of them—a lanky, scene-looking guy, probably in his late teens—moaned constantly about having to bump. Time after time, he wasn’t back-bumping right, and I kept giving him pointers on how to do it. I’m genuinely quite patient when I’m teaching/training someone, and if they’re not getting it, I’ll try and come at it from a different angle so I can make myself a bit clearer, and help them understand what they should be doing differently. This guy kept doing it incorrectly and, rather than show a bit of drive and determination to try and get it right, and just concentrate, he just kept asking “do I have to do it again?” Eventually, his attitude pissed me off, rolling his eyes every time I asked him to do it again, and I moved on. There were other people in that class who WANTED to learn, who WANTED to progress, and this fucker was wasting their time, and my time. I’m a fairly easy-going guy, but I don’t suffer fools gladly and, having encountered a lot of them in my years training, my patience for this type of carry-on is in really short supply. Considering that most of the people in the class would only get to train once a month before shows, I was annoyed that time was being eaten up by someone like this, who simply didn’t appreciate it, and wasn’t interested in improving. I’d really love to know what he expected from training when he set off in the morning… Apart from him and his mates, the rest of the class were very pleasant to deal with, and put a lot of effort in, which I like to see. As far as impromptu classes go, I think it turned out pretty well, and I felt it certainly flowed better than my SPWA one month earlier.
After the session came the show, and I was really surprised to learn that I’d be doing “double duty” (or, wrestling two matches.) I worked the opener, in a four way elimination match with Sam Bailey, Joey Hayes, and Danny Hope. All three lads were very enjoyable to work with. The match went quite well; one or two things could’ve been a little crisper, but that’s life. Multi-person matches are often tough to work, and time, exquisitely. I was happy with it, though. Things came down to me and Joey and, though we only had a few minutes of action to wrap things up, it was a fun few minutes, nevertheless, and came off nicely.
Cameron Kraze was due to face CJ Banks in the main event, for the DPW Title, but had injured his shoulder the night before on another show. Having won the fourway earlier in the evening, I was chucked into the match to replace Cameron, and face ‘The Juice’. I have to say, I was delighted with how the match turned out and, all-round, felt it was genuinely one of the best I’ve had in a while. Everything clicked as I hoped it would, the timing was bang-on, and the chemistry was there. In a nutshell, I was very pleased with the match, and enjoyed working with CJ.
I hadn’t eaten since a Chicken Royale from Burger King in Dublin Airport around 6 that morning, so I was absolutely RAVENOUS after the show, and got a delicious chicken fried rice on the way back to the hotel. It was definitely needed! Though I’ve generally found that eating close to going to bed is a bad idea- and stops you getting off to sleep quickly- that was not the case that night, and I managed to fall asleep soon after; the effects of the three hour training session and two matches finally hit me. In spite of the tiredness, the trip to DPW was a very enjoyable one.
The bloody flight home was delayed the next day, but not by too much, thankfully. As much as folks complain about Ryanair, I personally have never had any major problems with them, touch wood. For my needs—that is, nipping across to the UK for shows—they’re the perfect airline. When it comes to delays, though, they’re pretty useless, like most of their competitors. How hard is it, really, to let people know what’s going on? Ah, well…
I had a brace of Scottish shows at the end of August, with a return to WrestleZone, and a début for SWE (Scottish Wrestling Entertainment) the following night. I flew out on the Friday morning, arriving in Aberdeen just after 8, and had a small breakfast in a Wetherspoon’s at the Airport. (A breakfast of baked beans on toast, or “becked beans on tost”, as my Ugandan colleague says, in her inimitable accent! Heh heh.) Spent the morning with Bill, one half of WZ Tag Champs Sterling Oil, catching up, and watching some TV, which was cool. Around lunch time, Bill & I headed to Brechin with WZ regulars Dickie and Andy; the journey lasted about an hour or so, and flew by.
I had another training seminar before the show in Brechin, and was very glad to avenge my previous session back in June, which I wasn’t totally satisfied with. The lads did really well, and even though the class had a mix of brand-new trainees and guys that had been training for quite a while, things flowed quite nicely, and I was pleased with how it worked out.
I was also happy with my match on the show, with Damien. The crowd were nicely into the action, and I felt it went quite well. Managed to chuck in a move I’d been hoping to break out for a while—the “Closing Ballance". (Heh heh—it’s awesome having a name that so easily lends itself to puns and expressions!) The Closing Ballance is a submission move; a variation on a guillotine choke from a tornado DDT, and Damien took it very well. Though it earned a tapout, the ref didn’t see it, and Damien snuck away with the win- the rogue!
Alan & Cara once again very kindly put me up in their place for the evening and Jake, I think, eventually recognised me after a little while! The following day, we set off at noon; Alan, his brother Shaun, Ben (a WZ trainee), ‘Damien’ & I headed to Dundee for the SWE show, dubbed “Hell for Lycra VII’. The trip took about two hours, and when we arrived at Bonar Hall (in the University of Dundee) there was already a Q&A session underway with ‘The Million Dollar Man’ Ted Dibiase. It was quite surreal to see him in person, just as it always is to see someone I used to watch on TV in my youth. He seemed to be quite a nice man, anyway.
Arriving early at the place meant there was a lot of hanging around, but it also allowed a bit of time to chat, and I had a very nice one with a new trainee in WrestleZone, called Lewis. Lewis seemed to me to be the complete antithesis to the moany git I mentioned earlier who turned up to the DPW session. He seemed very level-headed and sensible, a thoroughly nice guy, and he really seemed to want to get ahead with his training. His only obstacle is his weight, but since our conversation, he has been consistently shedding it, to his considerable credit, in the hopes of following his dream to step in the ring. The WZ guys are a really nice bunch, and with their support, and the support of his friends and family, I’ve no doubt that Lewis can definitely achieve his goals, and I hope that he does.
HFL7 was probably one of the biggest shows I’ve worked on this year, and I was thrilled to look out, just as things were about to start, and see the place absolutely packed, with over 300 people in attendance. My match with Scotty Swift was on second, and I really enjoyed it. Scott is a lovely guy, and is one of those guys who really seem to ‘get’ wrestling. It’s refreshing. I was really pleased when I heard we’d be working together on the show. The only disappointment was that I really wish we’d had a bit more time, so that the match could ‘breathe.’ Being allocated only eight minutes- or ten, factoring in entrances and exits- meant that everything had to be kept quite tight, time-wise, and it didn’t lend itself to interacting a great deal with the crowd, or allowing stuff to sink in, as much. A fast-paced cruiserweight-style match was what was expected, and though that’s what we delivered, I would have loved maybe five more minutes, so we could have really taken our time a little more. Working with Scott, anyway, was great fun, and the crowd were really into it, which I was delighted with. (The opening spot even got a “this is awesome!” chant, which was cool.)
I chatted for a while, after, with Scott, and headed off, once the show was over, with Claymore, his girlfriend Charlotte, and the SWE MC Brian. It was my first time meeting all three of them, and they were all incredibly nice. I stayed over with Claymore and Charlotte in Edinburgh, before flying home the following morning.
It was a very cool two days, and underscored how much I enjoy working in Scotland. Really great bunch of people.
Wrestling-wise, that was that for August, but just to finish off this blog, I wanted to include a few non-wrestling thoughts, and so forth.
I needed a second viewing to really decide what I made of Saw VII. (I had the same problem with Rob Zombie’s Halloween II last year; a first viewing wasn’t enough. The second viewing allowed me to make up my mind: it was shite.) My second viewing of Saw VII still left me conflicted. HERE BE SPOILERS!! (Jesus, that’s dreadful grammar.) Aspects of it were pretty cool, like the fish hook trap, the car trap (including the line “you are racists” in the scrambled Jigsaw voice, which made me laugh quite a bit) and Hoffman, particularly his bodybag twist, which was really well done. Other aspects weren’t so good. The writing was quite lazy, the Gordon twist didn’t sit well with me (in terms of making sense) and was too rushed, the dispatching of Jill was a little bit distasteful (just how it was shot and treated, really, and not the actual killing of her), and the culmination of Bobby’s game seemed to fly in the face of Jigsaw’s moral code, in killing innocent wife Joyce in such an horrific fashion. The ‘public trap’, too, at the start, didn’t seem to tie in with the rest of the film. I dunno. It wasn’t bad, but if indeed it was the final ‘Saw’, I don’t think it cut it, sufficiently.
Currently watching the brilliant HBO series ‘In Treatment.’ It’s absolutely riveting.
Got sucked into The X Factor again this year. The judges are even more sycophantic than last year, especially Louis Walsh, who seems to gush over every contestant; it’s sickening. Aside from Matt and Rebecca, no one else has really impressed me, to be honest. Mary’s quite good, and seems like a very sound, down-to-earth woman, but she’s a little limited. Belle Amie were fucking dreadful, Katie Wastrel irritates me, and the level of elaborate staging for a lot of the acts seems to emphasise that a lot of them really can’t sing that well at all. I know Aiden Scrimshanks seems to have a following, but I think he’s bloody terrible, as well. There’s putting your own spin on a song, and there’s absolutely murdering the crap out of it. Guess which one I think that fellow does! Wagner is perversely entertaining, even if he can’t sing for peanuts. (Ready-salted nut-based snacks, of course, being the main incentive for doing anything in this life.) One Direction are annoying, too. They’re not as annoying as Jedward- with those fucking faux-American accents- but they’re still grating. Let’s hope that ‘direction’ in their name is towards Hell!
Anyhow, that’s it for this blog. Thanks for reading, guys. ‘Til next time…
Ballance
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