Saturday 15 November 2014

The Ballance Sheet, Blog XXVI

My last blog opened with a show at a wedding and- weirdly- so does this one! In a 'Previously on the Bingo Ballance Show' kinda vibe, when I last left you guys, I'd wrapped up a Wrestling.IE festival show in Drumshanbo, Co. Leitrim, over the June bank holiday weekend. That wouldn't be my only venture into the squared circle that month, though...

WEDDING CRASHERS II: THIS TIME, IT'S PERSONAL!
Sandwiched in between the post-Christmas/pre-New Year period at the end of last year, I'd wrestled  a few matches at a wedding in Galway, at the Radisson Blu Hotel. Though it was grand, it wasn't the most enjoyable. In general, wrestling for a non-wrestling audience can be a mixed bag, and can be downright depressing at times, to be honest. Some of the festival shows I've done for Wrestling.IE have been a lot of fun, others have been like pulling teeth. One, in particular, in Portadown, was horrendous. I had two terrific guys to work with, in Seán Maxer and Dunkan Disorderly, but the crowd were the absolute shits, and it soured the experience, however much I enjoyed the matches we had.

Though I was glad to be a part of the entertainment for the wedding reception in Galway, I wasn't especially keen to repeat the experience, truth be told; I wouldn't have, had it not been for an MSW trainee that I had (and have) a lot of time for: Stuart 'Stuie' Williamson. Stuie had been there, if memory serves, for all the guest classes I'd done in Main Stage last year, and I found him to be humble, very hard-working, and just a bloody nice guy, in general. Had it not been his wedding, I would've turned down the invite to wrestle at the reception.

At any rate, the trip- made with Joe Cabray, who was good company- was a lot shorter than the previous wedding show, and it took less than an hour to reach the hotel in Bray, Co. Wicklow. The ring was set up in a car park abutting the back of the hotel; ordinarily, it wouldn't have been ideal, but the weather was rather nice, so it was fine. We had a hotel room to get prepared in, too, which helped, though it was a little cramped, and we were figuratively on top of each other!

I had a singles match to open the proceedings, with Bam Katraz. He & I have worked each other loads over the years, so it was a piece of cake, and an easy night's work. The crowd were alright; the other wrestlers tried to help make some noise, while the non-wrestling audience members looked on bemused. It was what it was. The match was grand, and I was happy to be a part of Stuie and Samantha's big day, but I'm officially retired as a wedding wrestler - heh heh.


TORN ASUNDER
Towards the end of June, after the wedding show, I tore my groin during a football game (a weekly kickabout), which was unpleasant, to say the least. I was chasing the ball, then had to suddenly and sharply change direction, and that did the damage. Rather than the inner thigh being affected, it was the area just below my belly button, so my upper groin/lower core had been put through the proverbial ringer. Walking was uncomforable, I couldn't run (one of my other favourite pastimes) and, for the first time since I started wrestling in 2005, I was out injured. (Ironically, not caused by wrestling.)

Over the next three months, it was incredibly frustrating to have to turn down bookings, and to see results and pictures from those shows going up on Facebook. I let that motivate me, though, and had the help of an awesome physio (Brian Crinnion of The Physio Company) to get me back to where I wanted to be. By the middle of September, I was back running again, and playing football regularly, and felt like I was ready to get back in the ring. I was hoping to get ring time to test out the injury, and see what I could(n't) do, but trying to organise training partners, and a session, proved too headache-inducing, and more hassle than it was worth, so it ultimately fell by the wayside. My first foray back into the squared circle would be on a show at the end of September, for Wrestling.IE.


COFFEY AND ABUSE IN 'NEESON COUNTRY' (AKA: BALLYMENA)
My first match back took place in Ballymena, towards the tail-end of September. The trip there was a mixed bag. Danny Butler and 'The Fabulous' Nicky were enjoyable to travel with, but (due to a number of issues) we arrived at the venue a mere thirty minutes before the show was due to start, and I was in the opener! Definitely far from ideal. That said, I managed to get my ass in gear (figuratively and literally) fairly quickly, and put a match together with Joe Coffey in about 5-10 minutes. The circumstances of our late arrival, and the short window to get ready, left me fairly stressed, but planning with Joe was an absolute dream. Super nice guy, and exceptionally easy to plan and work with, especially given we'd never worked together before.


Wearing down Joe Coffey with a rear chinlock, during our match in Ballymena. Thanks to John Morrissey for this shot

Our match was grand, though I felt a few steps off my usual performance- understandable, I guess, due to the three months out. (I was a heel for this, incidentally, which was a bit of a surprise, but an interesting subversion of the obvious size differential between us. Made a change to unleash- as show photographer John Morrissey likes to call him/me- 'Jerko Ballance'!)

That singles match wasn't the full extent of my involvement, though, as we had an 8-man tag to close the show: me, Nicky, Danny & Executioner against Dunkan Disorderly, Jake Mason, Dave Finlay Jr and Joe. Prior to the match taking place, though, there was an unusual turn of events. The rest of the heels and I were on the stage, shying away from taking part in any more action for the evening (as you do), when an elderly woman came out of the audience, slapped Danny across the face and swore at him! I wish I could say that he reacted immediately, grabbed the sassy septuagenarian and piledrove her through the stage, but that wasn't the case, unfortunately. He was a little shocked and bemused, as anyone would be, and the lady- for lack of a better term- was led back to her seat by the incompetent security detail. It was honestly like something out of the World of Sport era! You sorta assume that most people know the story these days, and appreciate that it's entertainment, but I guess that's not a safe assumption! The match proceeded as normal, and the lady was championed as some sort of 'Hero of the People' (and not as the incorrigible thug that she proved herself to be. Dreadful.)

The first show was out of the way, anyway,and I (very luckily) hadn't tweaked the injury especially; quite fortunate, since I hadn't time to properly warm up, due to our late arrival.

THE BUTLER DID IT
For the next two shows I worked (in Ballybofey, Co. Donegal, and in Waterford City), I had singles matches with Danny Butler which led into tag matches, where I teamed with Seán Maxer against Danny and Corvin (in Donegal) and Danny & Bonesaw (in Waterford.) Though I'd worked with Corvin and Bonesaw previously (in very enjoyable matches), I hadn't with Danny, bar maybe the very odd exchange in an 8-man tag, or something like that.

I'd thought (incorrectly) that Danny was more of a brawler, so I wasn't sure how well our styles would mesh. When it came down to it, though, our styles- rather than clashing- complemented each other well,  and I really enjoyed the matches I've had with him. I think we've developed quite a good chemistry over a short period of time. It's always cool to work with someone new, and click with them right from the off, and that's what's happened here.


Nailing Danny Butler with a Samoan driver - still need my own name for this move! If anyone has any suggestions, let me know. Thanks to John Morrissey for this shot from Waterford's Theatre Royal

The tags, too, were fun to do, and the crowd was nicely alive and into both of them.

TREADING NEW GROUND AND REVISITING OLD HAUNTS
The Ballybofey ("Bally-bo-fay") show was my first show ever in Donegal, so I managed to tick that off the list of Irish counties I've worked in. Only Clare and Roscommon left, I think. Waterford is somewhere I've worked loads of times over the years and enjoyed immensely, but it was weird this time to cross that bridge into the city, and not head straight towards The Forum (the previous venue for many the IWW show I did, and one CCW one last year- I think it's a bingo hall now.) We instead headed for the Theatre Royal, which was a fantastic venue, and nicely located.

Were it not for wrestling, there's no way I would've had the opportunity to see thirty of the thirty two counties on this island. It's been a great experience, getting to travel around to these places, seeing different sights and towns and villages, and doing something I love.

SCENTED CINEMA
Back in my early days in Irish Whip Wrestling, we made a few trips out to Drogheda, in nearby Co. Louth, and did shows at the Europa Hotel, just outside the town centre. Despite the low(ish) ceiling and having to change in a small area just outside the hotel kitchen, it was a great place to wrestle, and the fans were always lively and vocal. Amongst those, were four teenaged lads (Mike, Chris, Shane and Seán) who not only came to the Drogheda shows, but made the trip to Dublin to a few Gym Wars shows, along with some of the bigger ones in Donnycarney and Balbriggan. The lads were very supportive of yours truly, something which I've always appreciated. In fact, I got a king's chair from them (pictured below) when I won the Zero Gravity Championship Tournament in Balbriggan, in early 2007! The fact that they were there for a great moment in not only my wrestling career but my life in general still means something.


Getting a king's chair from the Drogheda lads, following the IWW Zero G tournament in January, 2007. Chris on my right, Shane on my left (with his hand dangerously close to the Ballance family jewels) and Mike on my far left, in red, pointing at some jerk...

So, when I heard from show photographer/regular backrake victim (heh heh) John Morrissey that Mike was filming a documentary ('The Art of the Squared Circle') with his production company 'Scented Cinema Productions' (https://www.facebook.com/ScentedCinema), I was pleased, and glad for the chance to catch up. Having Mike and his crew there for the last few shows has been nice, and they've been extremely sound to deal with, and just to chat to, in general.

I've done interviews for, and taken part in, the occasional documentary on Irish wrestling over the years. Some have been decent, some have completely missed the point, and some simply don't have a point to make, content to just throw a few clips and talking head interviews together, without any theme, rhyme or reason. I have faith that Scented Cinema will buck the trend, do justice to what we do, and reflect our efforts, dedication and hard work in a respectful light. I definitely look forward to seeing what they come up with.

LIFE IN THE (BEL)FAST LANE
The Waterfront Theatre in Belfast was the site of the last show for this blog. Nicely (and respectably) packed out, especially in the wake of a WWE show in Belfast's Odyssey the previous night, it was a nice place to wrestle (even in spite of having to deal with difficult staff corralling us into small areas of the venue.) I made the trip there with former WWE star Mason Ryan, TNA's Magnus and Vic Viper. Mason was a very sound guy, and I'd spent a few hours with him, having given him a lift from the ferry port in Dublin earlier in the day. (Wasn't the nicest day to travel across the Irish sea, incidentally, in light of lashing rain and very strong winds - I enquired if he'd brought his 'sea legs', but he replied that he only had room for one pair in his suitcase, and thought it best to pack his 'wrestling legs.' A good call, I'm sure you'd agree.) Vic, I've known for ages, and I'd met Magnus at a DPW show in Yorkshire back in 2008, so I knew what to expect there- heh heh.

I usually pack a few pairs of tights for a show, so I can have options of what colours to sport, as it were. Earlier this year, I got a pair made by my usual gear-makers (AWP, in Australia), in black, red and white. I was (and am) really happy with them but, unfortunately, there's been a lot of red & black gear on the shows I've done over the past while, and I generally like my gear to stand out, so I wear other colours.  As a result, I haven't really gotten a chance to wear them. The 'red and black attack' was no more obvious than this show, when I was in one of the dressing rooms backstage, and everyone else in the room was in those colours: Danny Butler, Bonesaw, Jake Mason (my partner that evening), Corvin (who changed to silver and purple) and Kazza G (who didn't- good for her!) There may have been one or two others, but they escape me. At any rate, my red and black went unworn again, and I elected to rock the black and turquoise. Sometime soon, the red & black will have its day! #firstworldwrestlerproblems


The infamous black and red gear- one day, it'll get another wear!


The match I had on the show was a lot of fun - I teamed with Jake Mason (sound dude) against Danny and Bonesaw. The crowd needed a little bit of persistence on our part to keep them clapping, chanting, booing and so on, but made noise in the right places and at the right times, and it was an enjoyable bout. That was it for my involvement in the show, which was headlined by a fatal fourway for the Wrestling.IE Championship pitting Dunkan Disorderly against Mason, Magnus and Drew McIntyre. (I'd done a number of shows with Drew back in IWW in 2005/2006, so it was nice to see him again, as well.)


Nailing Bonesaw and Danny with my unfortunately-named Sexual Harassment Plancha, during the Belfast show. Thanks again to John Morrissey for this fantastic shot. 

Leaving the place, and setting off home, took a bit longer than usual as the post-show meet & greet lasted a while and Mason was shooting a sit-down interview with Mike and the Scented Cinema lads. I did take the opportunity, though, to remind Kazza a few more times that I planned to kill her at some point in the near future. It's on my to-do list... At any rate, we managed to get back on the road around 11:30 and, after the drop-offs, I pulled into my local McDonald's drive-thru just before 2. Options are limited at that hour, and I'd usually either go for McDonald's or Hillbilly's - generally the latter's tempting fried chicken and gravy dip are too much to resist, but I didn't fancy further driving on the night that was in it, so "Maccy D's" got the nod.

The four shows I've done since returning from my short, injury-necessitated sabbatical have been fun, and I can definitely say that I'm happy to be back. There are still things I want to do, and hopefully I'll get the opportunity to do them over the next while.

NON-WRESTLING STUFF: FILMS
Since the last blog, I've seen a reasonable few films, so here's a quick rundown...

Transformers: Age of Extinction
Tedious, and way too long. I'm done with Michael Bay, at this stage. Shame to see Jack Reynor in this dreck- he was very good in What Richard Did.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
Very enjoyable. One of the best films I've seen this year. Great use of CGI for the incredible fightin' apes.

Guardians of the Galaxy
Enjoyed it, though I think it had been a little over-hyped for me, in advance. Definitely thought it was good, but I, personally, wouldn't say it was great or terrific, or anything like that. Think I'm a little superhero'd out!

The Purge: Anarchy
Better than the first, I think, in that it made better use of its premise. Still fairly light on characterisation, though.

The Expendables 3
Really enjoyed it. Mel Gibson was a fantastic villain. Great action and humour throughout

As Above, So Below
Decent horror. Has a few tense bits, and an interesting story/premise.

Lucy
Started ok, but went off the rails, and I didn't give a shit by the end. Reminded me of Transcendence, which went the same way, I felt.

The Guest
Up there as one of my favourites this year. Absolutely loved it, and had a grin plastered across my face for most of it. Pitch black humour, great action, and suitably thrilling in parts. Dan Stevens was a great lead.

Gone Girl
Another favourite. I read the book and absolutely hated the second half of it, especially the conclusion. The film (and performances) did a great job of improving on the ending, while not changing much about it. I really like David Fincher's work - Se7en is one of my favourite films- and this is another string to his already-impressive bow. Great film.

The Maze Runner
A pleasant surprise. Well-acted, an intriguing story, and more room to expand on that story. I'd certainly check out the sequel.

'71
Nicely suspenseful thriller, set during the Troubles, in Belfast. Good performances.

The Babadook
Not what I was expecting, but an interesting film in its own right. I thought this was going to be along the lines of Insidious or Sinister, but it played out more as a psychological thriller, and was all the better for going its own way. Liked it.

Interstellar
Christopher Nolan would also be a favourite of mine. His body of work tends to polarise but, to be honest, I've enjoyed everything he's released so far. Coming out from this film, I didn't know whether I liked it or not, which was a weird feeling! I was kinda the same when I saw Rob Zombie's Halloween II the first time- on a second viewing, I was able to make my mind up: it was shite. Interstellar, though, does not merit the same judgment, in my book. It does lack a little coherence, in terms of the bandying about of theories on relativity, gravity, and quantum mechanics, but the basic meat-and-potatoes story is sound, the acting's very good, and I loved the visuals and the score (definitely something different from Hans Zimmer.) I'd definitely watch it again, to try to get more of a grasp on the story, and what's going on. A very ambitious and original film in this day and age, in any case.

Nightcrawler
Great performance from Jake Gyllenhaal, who's really gone up in my estimations over the last few years, especially his great turn in Prisoners. This is more of a character piece than anything else. To be honest, not an awful lot actually happens, but it's fascinating to follow this amoral guy around, and see what transpires. Rene Russo was very good, too - hadn't seen her name pop up in years before this.

TV
On my viewing list over the past few months have been the likes of Friday Night Lights (superb - blitzed through the five seasons), Veronica Mars (enjoyable first season- plan to watch the rest), Fargo (solid show, but couldn't compare to the film), Arrow (brilliant second season, very promising third, so far), The Walking Dead (good fourth season), Love/Hate (a very impressive fifth series, whose finale was spoiled for me the morning after it aired by the hosts on FM104's Strawberry Alarm Clock - very inconsiderate.) In addition to those, I've been re-watching Seinfeld, American Dad, The Thick of It, Peep Show, and Family Guy. One of my favourites, though, of the last while (aside from Game of Thrones) was the low-key British crime thriller/mystery Broadchurch, which was absolutely outstanding. Why the Americans have felt the need to remake it as Gracepoint, I have no idea, but I have little interest in watching it. Currently checking out the Coven series of American Horror Story, which I'm enjoying so far.

WATER
I tend not (and prefer not) to get too political in these things, but it was great to see people protesting peacefully in Dublin, and throughout Ireland, recently, against the proposed tax for residential water, due to come in from January 2015. (I make the distinction between peacefully protesting, and the kind of scumbaggish carry-on being organised by the likes of the 'Dublin Says No' group; the kind of morons pushing and shoving Gardaí and water meter installers, then screaming assault and police brutality when they're pushed back, or subdued. They haven't a fucking notion about police brutality.) For my own part, I have no objection, in theory, to paying for water. I do think, however, that the establishment of Irish Water, the untold millions of Euros wasted on meter installation and consultants' fees, the inept lack of communication from the government on the nature of the taxes/fees (and their subsequent rowback on these), and the idea of awarding bonuses (even at this early stage) to underperforming IW employees has reduced the entire process to a three-act farce.

The whole program has been handled disastrously by the current government, and there's every possibility that they'll be punished for it, once the next general election comes around. Not that it'll make any difference in the grand scheme of things, incidentally - the main political parties in this country are interchangeable, while the others are perennial opposition parties. They wouldn't know what to do if they were given the proverbial keys to the country. (Does the country have keys? I'll look into that for the next one of these...)

BOOKS
Loved the new edition of The Death of WCW - great book, and excellent additions from recent storylines, and the WCW mistakes that TNA inexplicably repeated. Another one I enjoyed was 'Titan Sinking: The Decline of the WWF in 1995' by James Dixon (who also wrote the riveting 'All or Nothing' account on the rise and demise of UK promotion 1PW.) Despite going a little off Chris Jericho over the last while, due to the many self-aggrandising remarks he's made these last few years, his new book is also quite enjoyable, and reasonably insightful.

'Til next time, folks, take care.

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