Monday 27 August 2012

The Ballance Sheet, Blog XXII


It’s good to be back, folks.

 

Actually, scratch that- it’s grrrrrrrrreat to be back, as the animated corporate tiger says.

 

On numerous occasions, I started a blog on the shows I did in June, and gave up halfway through.  There wasn’t enough in them to fill a full blog, or to sustain interest for me, writing it. With a few extra shows since then, though, I decided to cram ‘em all together into this bumper blog. (Incidentally, having passed the seven year mark- and in an attempt to put a minor twist on the whole ‘show recap’ blog- I’ll attempt to deal with each show in seven points of info. Lame, I know, but it was the best I could come up with.) Off we go…

 

Wrestling.IE – Navan, Meath—June 4th

 

1) First show since November last year, when I faced Sam Steel for TAW. I was due to wrestle at WrestleZone’s Liquid show in Feb, but it was unfortunately cancelled a few days before the show, due to some shenanigans from the venue. I was also wrestling on my seventh ‘anniversary’, as it were. I began training June 4th, 2005, so it was cool to have a match on the date.

 

2) My travelling companions on the short journey to Navan were Johnny Notaro, Niall Fox and Vic Viper. I’d met Johnny a few times last year, and was in an eight-man tag with him on a previous Wrestling.IE show in Irvinestown. I’ve known Niall for years, and faced him in the last ever IWW Gym Wars, in August 2008. I’ve known Vic even longer, and we’ve been friends for donkey’s years, along with having plenty of matches together.

 

3) Niall provided some grisly videophone footage, on the journey, of a horrific “headscissors gone wrong” (from a show the previous day.) The poor, unfortunate victim was Anthony Idol, who I teamed with on a show last year. Thankfully, I believe he’s suffered no lasting damage from the accident. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kV5mX8oT7c (see 01:17 onwards if you’ve a strong stomach.)
 
 

 

4) Vic, Johnny & I were doing the same round-robin dealie that Maxer, Dunkan & I had done last year. It was good fun. It was my first time working with Johnny, and my fourteenth singles match with Vic (though we’ve had loads more matches in triple-threats, fourways, tags and so on.) Both matches were enjoyable (though I somehow managed to do myself a lingering rib injury, missing a top-rope splash in my match with Johnny.) The triple threat match between the three of us was particularly good, I must say.

 

5) We were wrestling outdoors, during the Navan Town and County Fair. It was a very bright and sunny day, so it was nice wrestling out in the open. We were set up in a car park- opposite a massive bandstand- and got changed in the back of a van. The three of us were due to ‘commence wrestling’ when the unusual sound of The Everly Brothers’ All I Have to Do is Dream kicked in. Surreal… We also took pictures in the ring with Mr Tayto (the mascot for Tayto, Ireland’s premier brand of crisps.) I’m fairly certain he was Dr Tayto at some point, but I was informed by a reliable source that he was struck off after a malpractice suit. Shame…

 

6) Once we’d finished, and cleared up for the day, we were roped into- excuse the pun- taking part in a tug-o’-war. Facing the insurmountable challenge of trying to move this planet of a man on the opposing side, and the downhill gradient, we did not win out on this day, though I maintain we would have had more success if I’d been given fair notice, and brought my specialised Siberian tugging gloves. Alas, it was not to be. We drowned our sorrows, afterwards, with some iced cream.

 

7) Poor Steve, the promoter of Wrestling.IE; he was introducing the Mayor of Navan at one point, prior to my match with Vic, and forgot the man’s name! Heh heh. An unfortunate mental blank, but he covered it well.

 

WrestleZone—Aberdeen, Scotland—June 9th

 

1) With no direct flight from Dublin to Aberdeen on this particular Saturday, I took the slightly more circuitous route of flying to Edinburgh (with Ryanair, and a noisy stag party- grrr…) and getting the train to Aberdeen. No real hassle, though. I enjoy getting the train. Had Family Guy on the portable DVD- good stuff.

 

2) One of the slightly less-committed WZ trainees somehow managed to injure himself doing a forward roll, during a pre-show training class. To this day, albeit just over two months later, I’ve still no clue how he did it. Visually, he reminded me of BJ Novak (or ‘Ryan’ in the US version of The Office.)

 

3) I was still suffering the effects of missing the splash against Johnny a few days before. The ‘ribular’ discomfort would last about six weeks, before clearing up and taking its leave, like an unwelcome houseguest or, if you prefer, an unpleasant stench wafting out through an open window.

 

4) I teamed with Shawn Johnson and Bryan Tucker- now WZ’s tag champs, The Granite City Hotshots- to face Sterling Oil and Crusher Craib, in a lively and exciting six-man tag. I’d teamed with Bryan before to face Sterling Oil two years before, and also at the Summerhill Hotel, coincidentally. I faced Crusher Craib at the Liquid show last year, in an enjoyable bout. Nice working with ‘em all again.

 

5) I stole Dave Malice’s trademark porkpie hat following the win- and delivered a promo while wearing it- but was compelled to return it to him after the show, under threat of injunction. Say what you will about the man, but he has a quality legal team.

 

6) I took part in the Regal Rumble later in the show, which culminated in Crusher Craib turning on his Sterling Oil cohorts and winning the match, to a nice ovation. The match, like most battle royals, was a bit of fun.

 

7) Another enjoyable stay in Chateau Stirling, and a nice visit to their extended family, capped off a great weekend. Cool seeing all the WZ guys & girls again.

 

Celtic Championship Wrestling—Bishopstown, Cork—August 5th

 

1) Having provided help and advice in the months leading up to CCW’s début show in August, it was cool seeing everything come together on the night, and turning out well. Nice job by Lee & co.

 

2) I made the car journey with Niall Fox, Irish Dragon and JC Williams. It was an enjoyable trip, mixing some pleasant chat, and a couple of the Knowing Me, Knowing You (Alan Partridge) radio episodes. (Personally, I prefer the radio episodes of KMKY to the TV ones; slightly funnier, in my view.)

 

3) I subscribe to the Sir Ian McKellen school of thought- from Extras- in that there will be no scripts on the night. (“You must LEARN the words!”) Scripts for all the matches were laid out on arrival but, considering the experience of the majority of the workers on the card, they were largely disregarded, and the workers looked after their own matches, in the traditional manner. No harm done.

 

4) It was great to see folk I hadn’t seen in quite a while, like Bonesaw, Dunkan Disordely, and Shawn Maxer, amongst many, many others. Kept the atmosphere enjoyable and fun backstage.

 

5) The setup was pretty cool, with a camera crew filming the show, and pre-match promos. I was quite happy with mine, and am pleased to be at a stage where I don’t dread the damned things anymore!

 

6) The fourway with JC, Irish Dragon and Insano turned out well- even if I ended up with a black eye from clashing heads with Dragon; the first of two in the same month. (Same eye and everything!) The match was well received by the crowd. Unfortunately, part of the composition of the evening’s audience were the obnoxious brand of “smart marks”; y’know the ones that slavishly copy WWE/ECW/ROH audiences on TV, and try to get themselves over by starting random, irrelevant chants…? That brand. Always hilarious… Thankfully, they didn’t detract from the match in any great fashion.

 

7) The three-hour journey back was tough-going, especially in light of having to be up early for work the next morning, but was grand. Niall and JC were good company, and helped stave off the possibility of me nodding off at the wheel, listing off into a ditch and killing us all, so chalk that up as a ‘W’.

 

Wrestling.IE—Carrickfergus, Antrim—August 10th.

 

1) Full car up to Antrim for this one: me at the wheel- driving like a maniac, as ever- Lee Lightning, Johnny Notaro, Kazza Glennon and Bam Katraz. Good banter. (I’d met everyone after a day’s work, so was a bit shattered. I’d usually tend to spend my Friday evenings horizontal, getting some much needed R&R. This was an exception, though.)

 

2) First time wrestling in a tent/marquee, to my recollection. The tent was set up beside the marina in Carrickfergus, and in the car park next to the Windrose Hotel. We ended up changing in the windowless Gents toilets upstairs, adjoining the restaurant. The sight of a load of half-naked men in unusual costumes certainly drew a few quizzical looks from the patrons, as I’m sure you can imagine, and I was told that at least one diner was put off her Salad Niçoise.  Quel dommage.

 

3) I worked with Bam Katraz for the first time in about five years on this show. Back in the day, in IWW, Bam and I were both ‘faces, and had teamed a few times, but had to wait a fair while before we got the opportunity to have a match together. That opportunity came at Gym Wars 17, in October 2006, and we had a really good match. We would get the opportunity to have two or three more great singles matches over the course of 2007, but this was the first time in years that we worked together.

 

4) The match was good, and solid, but I was slightly disheartened with my own performance, finding myself worn-out from work, the sweltering heat in the tent, and the little bit of extra size I was sporting. Having put a bit more emphasis on my gym routine over the last few months, I’m still getting used to trying to adjust my cardio and conditioning to the tiny bit of extra upper body bulk, as it were. ‘Tis a delicate balance, no pun intended.

 

5) Finding it difficult to replicate the fast-paced style of match that Bam & I used to favour was sobering and, again, somewhat disheartening; a reminder of my own limitations. Frustratingly, I feel I’m at a point where I’ve a solid grasp on the mental/psychological side of things, but the physical side lets me down sometimes. Certainly something that can be tweaked, but I was disappointed in my inability to recapture the chemistry I had with one of my favourite opponents. I guess my standards are a little higher with Bam, as we had some really good matches together in the past. It was by no means a bad one, but I wished I could’ve done more, for my own part, to make it better. Hopefully, I’ll get another crack at it, down the line. (Not in a tent next time, though!)

 

 6) While I brought my green gear to the show, I went with the baby blue instead, as Bam was wearing orange. Green vs. orange in a Protestant area would (potentially) be confusing for the audience, or even a political powder keg waiting to go off in an explosion of sectarian violence! I’ve had absolutely no hassle whatsoever from trips up north, and consider the political sensitivity- based largely on religion- to be bullshit and mainly outdated but, under the circumstances, I thought it best to err on the side of caution.

 

7) The trip back was enjoyable. Good company, and conversation; especially good when we strayed away from wrestling-related topics, and discussed other stuff. A good group o’ folks to travel with.

 

WrestleZone—Aberdeen, Scotland—August 18th

1) Wasn’t expecting this one to pop up! The WZ guys gave me notice of their Battle of the Nations show the previous Tuesday evening, when I was enjoying a small get-together with some of the old IWW crew- Bam, Vic Viper, Mad Man Manson, Red Vinny and The Ballymun Bruiser. It was a fun evening, catching up and swapping old anecdotes. An absolute scorcher, weather-wise, as well. At any rate, due to a card snafu, someone was needed to partner Scotty Swift for the main event, and represent Scotland, against the villainous, moustache-twirling English duo of Dave Rayne and Rob Cage. (Neither of whom have moustaches; I think they were clip-ons.) That someone would turn out to be your humble author.

 

2) I’d nothing special planned for that weekend, if I’m honest. I was planning some R&R, watching a few films and making some headway with Arkham City. That said, I still managed a nice rest, as my flight was around lunchtime, with Aer Lingus Regional/Aer Arann. Love flying with them; along with the allocated places, and comfy seats, the plane itself is smaller (with propellors and everything!) and you’re let enjoy the flight in peace and quiet without the staff trying to sell you shit every five minutes. With a chance for further rest in the morning, and a relaxing flight, I was in a state of complete zen when I arrived at the Northern Hotel, for the evening’s show. (It might also have had something to do with over-indulging in ketamine, but let’s not dwell on that…)

 

3) The match was enjoyable, and got a good reaction from the lively WZ crowd. I somehow ended up with another black eye, which I found humorous more than anything else. It was my first time working with Dave, and an enjoyable one. (He was a trooper, taking an inhuman amount of back rakes!) I was working with Rob for a third time, I believe, having worked him in a triple threat in SSW in 2010, and a six-way ladder match for SWE last year. He’s a gent, and I love working with him. Scott and I had worked a singles match for SWE in 2010, but this was our first time teaming, and a successful one at that.

 

4) The crowd were awesome, and gave me a warm, encouraging welcome back. Certainly made things easier, as I laid out a challenge for WZ Undisputed Champ Johnny Lions for my next trip over in October. Coincidentally, I faced Johnny the last time I wrestled in the Northern Hotel, back in 2009. Look forward to working with him again in Inchgarth.

 

5) Had a nice time, post-show. Went for a quiet drink and chat with the WZ guys, then headed back to the hotel, stopping on the way for a Chinese. Got what I believe was the nicest chicken satay I’ve ever had, from Chung Hwa. It was ridiculously tasty. Roomed with Rob Cage, and enjoyed chatting with him. Thoroughly nice guy. (John Carpenter’s The Fog was on in the background. Good film. The remake from 2005 wasn’t so much.)

 

6) With a later flight home the next day, I spent time with Sterling Oil’s Richard R. Russell and William Sterling, and Bryan Tucker, getting lunch at The Wild Boar, and having a walk around Aberdeen. ‘Twas a nice afternoon, and a cool way to cap off the trip.

 

7) My flight home was also with Aer Arann/Aer Lingus Regional, and I spent the flight chatting to the gentleman next to me; an Australian chap named Dean, from Newfoundland. Nice fella. I think it’s fascinating, at times, the various paths you cross with people, through life. It’s as if your life is a TV series, and you have people like this as occasional guest stars. You have your recurring characters, your main cast, and folks who are written out of your series, for whatever reason! Weird way of looking at things, I know, but as I said to a friend once: “Everyone’s the hero of their own film [of their life]”. (I’m more of a supporting character in mine…!)  At any rate, with two later flights, removing the need to get up at stupid o’clock to head to the airport, and a nice stay-over in the hotel, it definitely stands as one of my more chilled-out journeys abroad in quite some time.

 

TAW King of the Counties—Dunstable—August 25th

1) I shall not knock Ryanair. For what they offer, they’re good at what they do. That said, travelling with them would certainly never be the apotheosis of ‘relaxed air travel.’ The previous week’s flights with Aer Lingus Regional were comfortable, and had me relaxed when I touched down. In stark contrast, I arrived in Luton fairly frazzled, if I’m honest. The number of loud, whiny, ill-mannered kids on the flight wrecked my buzz. One child in particular was bawling for about two-thirds of the journey. At that early hour, it was like a drill boring into my skull. Boring, boring, boring…

 

2) Met at the Airport by Samson, and we’d a good chat and a catch-up. Sat in on their Saturday training, and saw the Kurt Angle ‘Funny or Die’ video. If you haven’t seen it yet, treat yourself—funny stuff: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkjycWc-HMs

 

3) Hung out with my buddy Lewis Cooper for the afternoon. Enjoyable chatting with the gentleman; his anti-Irish barbs had decreased since my last visit. Progress… (Apart from him mocking how I see “barbs.” Bastard…)

 

4) Actually worked with Lewis in the show’s opener, in a King of the Counties quarter final match. A very enjoyable bout. Best-looking G-17 (my finisher) that I’ve hit in quite a while. Pleased with that. The crowd were slightly subdued throughout the evening, but I was happy with the matches. I worked Dan Darkstar in the semi finals, as well, and enjoyed that. A satisfying evening’s work, all told.

 

5) Had a browse in Asda with Lewis and Sam Steel, once I’d gotten changed after my matches. Managed to pick up The Innkeepers for £5. A steal! I’m a fan of the horror genre- when done well, obviously- and really enjoyed writer/director Ti West’s The House of the Devil. A suitably creepy throwback to films of the 1970s, and with a heavy emphasis on character development and suspense, THOTD was an impressive entry in the genre, and I was looking to pick up his follow-up. Good souvenir of the trip; the souvenir of my last Dunstable trip was a pair of furry dice that are still in my car (but have seen better days!)

 

6) Samson & his wife very kindly put me up for the evening once again, and dropped me off at the Airport very early the next morning. Stupid o’clock, as it were. Took quite a while to get through Security (for once, NOT because of the armoury I was trying to smuggle through.) I’m constantly amazed by the amount of people who are ridiculously unprepared when it comes to their turn at the top of the queue. Granted, 100ml is a completely arbitrary figure for any toiletry- as if an extra 150ml of Lynx Africa could take down a commercial airliner- but them’s the rules, and they’re well signed, so there’s really no reason everything shouldn’t run smoothly. Another minor gripe of the air travel experience. (I’d be more along the lines of George Clooney’s character from Up in the Air. Good film, as is Clooney’s other recent film The Descendants, which I watched when I got home from the flight. Small segue, there.)

 

7) My other air travel gripe would be the amount of absolute crap that Ryanair try to shill on their flights. I completely understand that they need to make money somehow, but at such an early hour, it’s incredibly irritating to have loud PA interruptions every five minutes shilling phone cards, scratch cards, food & drink, perfumes, and everything under the sun. I was watching One Foot in the Grave on the portable DVD at the time, and was getting increasingly infuriated with the amount of interjections from the ‘cabin crew.’ I’m a grump, I know…      

    

Anyway, that’s that, folks. Bloody long one, eh? Well, I’m not quite done yet. Keeping with the “seven” them, here’s seven off-topic bits and pieces…

 

1) Loved The Dark Knight Rises. Loved it. I’m not prone to changing my favourite film at the drop of a hat, but I think TDKR has taken its place at the top of my list, alongside the likes of Seven, Silence of the Lambs, Donnie Darko, Inception, The Wicker Man and Warrior, amongst others. Excellent conclusion to the trilogy, and phenomenal performances from all involved. Completely exceeded my expectations. Not everyone’s cup of tea, but it ticked all the boxes for me.

 

2) Loving Breaking Bad. After being poked and prodded by many people to give it a shot, I did so, and am thoroughly enjoying it. Superb stuff.

 

 3) Haven’t had a decent game of football in a few months now. I play indoor football once a week, but we ain’t getting the numbers, unfortunately, of late. Hopefully, things will pick up again soon.

 

4) I’ll probably check out Total Recall, but I’m not sure what to expect. The cast is very good, but the amount of remakes coming out of Hollywood is pretty depressing. Are there really so few new ideas out there?

 

5) Saw Ted recently, and enjoyed it. The trailers beforehand were appalling, though. (Or, at least, not to my taste.) Along with A Few Best Men (euch), there was the Will Ferrell/Zack Galafianakis film The Candidate, which failed to raise even a grin. Not so much as a grin, for mercy’s sake! No offence to any Ferrell fans reading, but I really don’t care for his stuff; Anchorman may be a favourite of some, but it ain’t for me.

 

6) Two plugs to finish- first, the ol’ new T-shirts. A nice, Dublin-based firm did ‘em up for me, and did a darned good job. If anyone wants one, or any other items of my crappy merchandise, send up a smoke signal.
 

 

7) Plugs for my Formspring, where you can post questions either anonymously or… eh… nonymously?? Here, anyway: http://www.formspring.me/BingoBallance . Also, a list to my Blogspot site, and my previous entries: http://theballancesheet.blogspot.ie/  (if you’re reading this on Blogspot, disregard. You’re eh… you’re already on the site.)

 
Anyway, thanks for reading this mammoth entry, guys. ‘Til next time, mind yourselves.

Thursday 21 June 2012

Interview w/ Phil Allely

- originally published June 21st, 2012-

http://www.famemagazine.co.uk/2011/08/24/irish-wrestler-bingo-balance-talks-indy-grappling/

FAME Columnist and Wrestling Expert Phil Allely was lucky enough recently to catch up with veteran Dublin born wrestler Gary ‘Bingo’ Ballance. Their conversation took in many aspects of Indy wrestling in the UK/Ireland and offered forth some interesting things about just what life is like for someone in Bingo’s place. Having toured Ireland, the UK and Europe the 26 year old now has his sights firmly set on cracking America.

PA: So Gary, firstly thanks for taking the time to chat with me, can you tell me how long you have been in the wrestling industry and how has it changed since then?

GB: I’ve been involved in wrestling since 2005, a little over six years, now. To be honest, I don’t think things have really changed that much. If anything, I tend to see the same trends, and the same things, popping up over and over, like a numbing, never-ending carousel of inevitability! (laughs) not to put it too bleakly! The industry itself hasn’t changed much, to my mind, since I began.
All I have to go on, really, is the Irish scene, and that’s receded quite a bit over the years. There was a notable boom period during 2006 and 2008, but it’s not been repeated since. Shows are still being run, and there’s still some great talent in the country, but the lack of cooperation between promoters- even on the most rudimentary level- prevents the scene from growing and reaching a larger audience.
It’s a shame, but there are a lot of personal issues, residual bad blood, and people grinding axes, and I don’t think the scene will ever reach the heights it did a few years ago. Pessimistic, perhaps, but that’s my own outlook.

PA: Even with the faltering audiences do you still enjoy what you do?

GB: Oh, definitely, yeah. If I wasn’t still enjoying it, I wouldn’t be doing it. There are aspects of being involved in wrestling that drive me mad, I’ll admit, but I still get a buzz from performing, and being in the ring and, overall, the good outweighs the bad. I take pride in my work, so if it ever got to the point where I was “phoning it in”, I’d just stop. I never want to be at the stage where I’m just going through the motions.

PA: So Gary where have you been fortunate enough to travel?

GB: I’ve had the pleasure, first off, of seeing a lot of Ireland itself. If I wasn’t involved in wrestling, I probably wouldn’t have gotten the opportunity to see a lot of the places I’ve seen, explore the country I live in, and experience the things I’ve experienced, good and bad.

I’ve had the chance to wrestle in front of huge audiences in Waterford, Tallaght, Balbriggan, Donnycarney and Cork, but also in front of tiny audiences in places like Wicklow and Offaly. I’ve been to places where we’ve had plush dressing rooms and conference rooms to hang out in, but also spent shows getting changed in caravans, corridors of restaurant kitchens, alleyways, outdoor sheds, or in the back of a ring van. To get to experience both is quite sobering, and keeps you grounded.
Travelling to- and seeing- a lot of the UK has been really enjoyable too. I’ve worked a lot in England, and in Scotland, and always enjoy travelling over. The only minor negative is that sometimes you don’t fully get to “take in” a place, if you get me. You’d pretty much just arrive at the Airport, get picked up, go to the venue, wrestle, and go back to where you’re staying. That said, I’ve enjoyed times where I’ve had a few hours to kill in a place I’m not used to. I had occasion to hang out for a few hours in Newcastle, Milton Keynes and Stonehaven, recently, in Scotland, and enjoyed the chance to see those places very much.

I’ve also been over to Germany a few times, which was cool. The last time, though, was a bit of a trial. It involved a ten hour car journey (round-trip) in the company of guys that didn’t speak English, it was bitterly cold, and I had to spend about six hours at the airport before my flight. I was dying to get some sleep, but was paranoid about someone stealing my stuff, or missing my flight! I’m back in Germany in November, though, so I’m hoping that trip will go a little better!
I’ve really valued being able to travel around, though, and see a bit of the world, while doing something I really enjoy.

PA: Have touring former WWE, TNA, WCW stars proved to be helpful and inspirational to you, do any of them pass on ideas/help?

GB: Some have, yeah. Irish Whip had a good few ‘imports’ back in the day, and it was a great learning experience picking up bits and pieces from them. Assimilating advice has been something I’ve tried to do, and get better at, over the years; some advice I’ve gotten wouldn’t necessarily work for what I do, while other advice might definitely help flesh out my performance, so I’ve found it helpful to mentally filter stuff I’m told, and see what I can use.

Most of the guys that came over were sound, bar one or two, maybe. Most inspirational to me, I think, was Doug Basham. I really liked his attitude, he was refreshingly down-to-earth, and he had a great work ethic. Along with that, he never played the “veteran” card, despite having infinitely more experience than the rest of us. There have been guys that came over that threw the whole “veteran” thing around, who I might respect out of courtesy- purely for having been in wrestling longer than me- but not as people. I respected Doug as a worker, though, and as a person. I was disappointed not to have gotten a chance to work with him while he was over, and think we would’ve had quite a good match together.
  
PA: so for those of us on the outside looking in, can you describe your life as a wrestler today, what does a week/month offer you?

GB: I’d generally have a few shows per month, at home or in the UK. It depends on the month, really. Some, I could have a load of bookings, while others I might just have one or two. It depends how many I’ve managed to secure.

Sending off mails seeking bookings is one of the most soul-destroying aspects of independent wrestling, I have to say! A lot of places won’t even bother responding, which is frustrating, but not unexpected. It pays off, though, when you manage to get your foot in the door somewhere. I get enough to keep myself busy and active, anyway. Sometimes, a promotion might get me to do a training seminar, as well, which I enjoy. I was the Head Trainer in IWW for a number of years, and have always liked teaching, and helping guys along.

Along with shows, I go to the gym a few times a week, play football- which I’ve found great for helping with my cardio- and spend time with my girlfriend and family, and some of my wrestling mates like Seán South, Bam Katraz, Brother Skelly ,The Ballymun Bruiser and Vic Viper.

PA: so tell me Gary is this your dream job?

GB: On balance excuse the pun I think it is, yeah. As I said, there are aspects of it that vex me a little, but that’s the same with every job. You take the good with the bad. If I could comfortably make a living through wrestling, though, it would be a dream job, yeah.

PA: So what if one of the big US league’s (WWE/TNA/ROH) came calling would you go? and would you miss the smaller local shows you do?

GB: I don’t expect WWE to turn up at my front door with a lucrative contract any day soon, though I obviously MIGHT consider it if they did! (laughs). I actually tried out for TNA earlier this year, in London, and was happy that I gave a good account of myself. I knew that I wouldn’t get a call-back, and that I wasn’t what they were looking for at the time, but I was glad to have done it and put myself on their radar at least. I got good feedback from D’Lo Brown afterwards, which was encouraging.
I have a realistic view of my own performance, and what I have to offer, and I genuinely don’t think the idea of me turning up in one of the bigger promotions one day is that crazy, to be honest. Would I take up the offer if it arose? I would. Absolutely. I’ve been working away for the past six years, and I’d be kicking myself when I’m older if I didn’t take the chance, and go for it. I’d miss the shows I do domestically, but I think any wrestler who’s serious about what they do wants to wrestle in front of larger audiences, and do it on a bigger scale. I’d have to give it a shot. Definitely.
  
PA: if you were forced to retire tomorrow, what would be the one moment that you would want to be remembered for?

GB: I hope my most memorable moment is still to come, to be honest, but if I did have to retire tomorrow, I guess it would probably be the Zero Gravity tournament win in 2007. It was a big night for me, and truly a surreal moment to become IWW’s first Zero Gravity Champion. There was an opening ceremony at the start of the show, where all fourteen participants were introduced to the crowd, and it was a truly humbling experience standing there in the ring with some of the best cruiserweights around- guys like Kid Kash, Pac, El Ligero- knowing that at the end of the night, I was winning the belt.

It was weird! My worry at the time was that me winning would be an anti-climax, considering some of the other competitors involved, and the fans would s**t on it. (Not literally- that would be hideous.) The atmosphere in Balbriggan was electric that night, though, and the crowd responded fantastically when I got the win. I couldn’t have asked for a better reaction. It was an incredible night.
Good as that was, though, I’d hope to be remembered for more than one moment, and that I’d left a decent body of work behind. As I say, I hope my best moments are still to come. Here’s hoping…

PA: For those people that have never had the opportunity to see Bingo Ballance in action describe your style and why those people should see you in perform?

GB: I wrestle a fast-paced, high-flying style, but without a lot of the superfluous flips, and bells-and-whistles associated with “indy” wrestling. I have nothing against that kinda thing; done well, it can look fantastic, and there are guys out there that can put together and perform these intricate spots superbly. For me, personally, though, I couldn’t work a loaded sequence of flips, leaps, ducks and switches in without making it look horribly choreographed, and I try to avoid that, wherever possible. I hate stuff looking overly-rehearsed.

I’ve been influenced by guys like Austin Aries, Paul London, Evan Bourne, Amazing Red, Chris Jericho, Brian Kendrick and Eddy Guerrero, amongst others, for most of my career, but my own style has evolved over time, albeit subtly. I would’ve been a big ROH fan when I started out, and enjoyed that type of wrestling; its influence could be seen in my early stuff. Nowadays, though, I’d favour WWE’s style of pacing matches, and feel I can work better within that kind of structure. Condensing that waffle into a snappy, media-friendly soundbite: “I’m a high-flyer.”

People should see me perform as, regardless of the number of people in the crowd, I always aim to give an audience their money’s worth. I still remember what it was like to be a fan, myself, and never want to short-change someone who’s taken a chance on local wrestling. Along with that, I would wrestle a style uniquely different to what’s in WWE at the minute, so you would definitely see something in one of my matches that you hadn’t seen before. I enjoy innovating, and coming up with my own moves, and a number of the ones that I use are my own creations. That’s really the extent of my “hard-sell”!
 
PA: So what does the future hold for Bingo Ballance?

GB: Though I’d love to say, “a lifetime of RIDICULOUS wealth”, I think, realistically, that’s a little unlikely! For something actually achievable, though, I want to venture into the States and Canada next year, and sort out some bookings there. I’ve wanted to do that for quite some time, but due to commitments over here, and my own procrastination- the eighth deadly sin- I haven’t gotten around to organising anything. I’ve only myself to blame! I hope to give that a proper go next year, though, and sort something out. Long-term, I still want to be doing this in five years’ time, if my body hasn’t packed it in by then!
    
PA: Do you think UK/Irish wrestling is losing out due to a lack of TV programming? Could we claw back the old Big Daddy style of popularity if we tried?

GB: That’s a really good question, I have to say. Truthfully, I don’t think British/Irish wrestling will ever be as popular as it was back in the World of Sport days, or as popular as WWE is at the moment. That may be a little bit negative or pessimistic, but I just don’t see it happening.

For it to happen, there would need to be a British promotion getting a regular, prime-time slot on terrestrial television, and I don’t see that as feasible. If Channel 4 couldn’t get a decent following airing WWE, I definitely don’t think it would get one airing British wrestling. Don’t get me wrong: I think the level of quality in British wrestling at the moment is phenomenal- and there are some truly terrific workers out there- but public perception, I’ve found, towards British or Irish wrestling isn’t good.

The growing trend for a lot of promotions is to advertise “American pro wrestling” or “American-style pro wrestling.” It’s smart, and it’s good marketing, but it’s very revealing. Certainly, in Ireland, the prevailing attitude of your average Joe Soap is that anything Irish-made- be it TV, films or whatever- is inferior to its American equivalent.

Thus, promotions tend to exclude “Irish wrestling” from posters and promotional material. I can’t presume to speak for the average British punter, but the fact that “American pro wrestling” is touted does say something. To get the public to follow British wrestling again would involve radically changing perceptions, and I think in the modern age of consumerism and self-entitlement, that is a huge uphill battle. Huge.

That aside, to even get a show “TV ready” you’d need super production values, and a lot of financial backing, and I think wrestling’s too big a gamble for any investor.

PA: Thanks for your time Gary, I’m sure all of our readers will be watching out for your name on upcoming local wrestling cards and we’ll maybe even see you grace the ring of the WWE/TNA someday soon too.

By Phil Allely

The Ballance Sheet, Blog XXI

- originally written May 5th, 2012-

Hey, folks. Been quite a while since I did one o’ these. Sometime last year, if memory serves.



My last show was at the end of November for Total Action Wrestling, in Dunstable. Since then, I’ve been enjoying an extended break. Without really realising it, half a year has passed since I’ve been in the ring; definitely the longest time I’ve been away since I started wrestling in 2005.



Do I miss it? Well, yes and no. I miss parts of it. I miss the actual matches- planning them, executing them, performing, meeting fans; what drew me to it, in the first place. That’s what I love- and have always loved- about wrestling. It was a creative outlet for me; a chance to go out there, and try to create something special, something memorable.



As much as I’m tempted to say I’m out with an injury or something, that’s not really the case. I could easily say something like, I dunno, I suffered a distended anus from a top rope legdrop gone horribly wrong, or my head came off from a slightly overzealous Yakuza kick- and had to be reattached- or I spontaneously combusted in the middle of a tornado tag match, but it’s bullshit. Fact is, while I did have some lingering knocks or niggles, it was nothing that I couldn’t work through, or haven’t previously worked through.



The break, more than anything else, was a mental one. A chance to clear my head and, frankly, come up for air.



Don’t get me wrong: I love wrestling, and have really enjoyed being a part of it. The problem was that I was too into it, prior to this. It was all-consuming. It would be on my mind throughout the day. Spots I wanted to try, lines I wanted to use for promos, tracks that would make good entrance music, reminding myself to send off a mail to ‘X or Y promotion’ about an upcoming show, and so forth. Bingo was in control, and Gary took a backseat. That’s the best way that I can describe it.



These past six months or so have been refreshing, as I’ve felt a bit of a weight come off my shoulders, and have felt more like myself again. I’ve enjoyed, actually, the simple pleasure of just watching wrestling again. Just watching and enjoying, rather than analysing or picking out spots that would be cool to use. (Subconsciously, I think I still do it, but it’s not as distracting as it was before.)



Describing a “weight” coming off my shoulders might give the wrong impression of my feelings towards wrestling; like I don’t miss it. I do. I find it hard watching back old matches. I found a match from 2010 online earlier this year, where I teamed with Shawn Maxer against Damien Corvin and Silas Black. Watching it, and remembering the fun I had that night, and how much of a buzz it was, was… difficult. I’ve a wardrobe/closet/whatever you want to call it, at home for my wrestling gear, and I’ve found it tough, too, opening it. (Not physically—some WD40 would clear that right up.) Hearing the likes of ‘Map of the Problematique’ and ‘Closer to the Edge’, too, have been reminders, as I used them both as entrance tracks, so they’re emotionally bound-up with all the feelings I’d have in my head when I go out to face an audience.



I’ve had other people in my life, too- folks not involved with wrestling- ask me about it, and I’m never really sure what to say. “I’m taking a break” is the usual soundbite, but I find it extremely hard to describe why, exactly. Even now, I don’t really know how to get across the reasons for just wanting to step away for a bit.



As many sound people as I’ve met through wrestling, there have been a lot of arseholes too. I heard a quote once, that was attributed to Robbie Williams, and it always stuck with me, as it gave an interesting insight into his frame of mind. I’m paraphrasing, but the gist of it was that he could go out every night to an arena full of people that loved him, adored him, and sang his lyrics back at him, but it would be the people that told him he was shit that stuck in his head. In a way, towards the end of last year, I started to feel like that. As many good things I got from wrestling; as many enjoyable matches I had or genuinely nice people I met, the bad experiences, the bullshit, and the arseholes stuck with me, and I got bogged down in it.



I needed a reprieve.



Since leaving Irish Whip in 2009, I’ve been firefighting, in a sense. Rather than have a regular place to work, I’ve had to fight for bookings, to stay on my game- send the emails, keep up contacts, network, and so forth. 2010 was fine, and it was a busy year. 2011 wasn’t as busy, and I put the largest portion of that blame pie on my plate. (With a dollop of cream.)



There were places I’d worked in 2010 that I could’ve exploited for further bookings, but I chose not to. (That’s not intended to sound big-headed, even though I appreciate how that comes across.) Fact is, I didn’t like the way some promoters/promotions did business, or didn’t like the atmosphere in their place, so didn’t go back. Simple as that. “Simples” as the animated muskrat says. (Is it… is it a muskrat?)



Yes, it was very much a case of cutting off my nose to spite my face, but I’m a stubborn bastard, as anyone who knows me will tell you…



Last year, I got involved with DCW. In a way, I’m curious what would’ve happened if I hadn’t. The road not taken, as they say. Though I had some good matches there with Vic Viper and Andy Phoenix, got a chance to do some creative promos, and was able to work locally (saving myself the hassle of travelling abroad) the overall experience left a bad taste, and no desire to work so close to home again.



Once the end of the year approached, like Mr Williams, the bad stuff started to outweigh the good, and I just said ‘fuck it.’ I stopped trying to fight the tide, to keep the bookings going, and just let go. And it felt good.



Months have passed and, while I do miss being in the ring, I’ve enjoyed having the time to do other stuff. I did another acting course this year, and it was excellent. A thoroughly enjoyable and insightful class by Terry McMahon (director of the upcoming ‘Charlie Casanova’) that actually helped me see wrestling in another light, as well as just being great fun, and a chance to do something else I liked.



Over the years I’ve been involved in wrestling, I’ve seen other guys take breaks, or just stop doing it. (I don’t use the word retire, incidentally. That’s one of my big pet peeves with wrestling at this level, guys with less than twenty matches using the phrase ‘retire’ or ‘I’m retiring from wrestling’ along with people describing themselves as being ‘in the business’ or saying they ‘have heat’ with someone, when they simply don’t like them. No offence to those that do use the lingo- it just ain’t for me. I’m sure there’s stuff I do that annoys other people.)



Some guys who have been away will usually have some kind of a spark that gives them the itch to want to get back in the ring. When The Rock came back last year, Facebook lit up with a load of posts from guys looking to get back into it. A friend of mine took a break for a while, but was drawn back by seeing a CM Punk/Daniel Bryan match on SmackDown. Chris Jericho admitted in interviews that seeing the WrestleMania 23 match between John Cena and Shawn Michaels is what helped inspire him to come back. Anything can do it. Another friend of mine was inspired to come back by a dream he had! (An actual dream, not the figurative use of the word.)



I’m not there yet. I haven’t had my epiphany, or my inspirational ‘Eureka!’ moment. Maybe it’s not coming.



Next month, I’m back to WrestleZone in Aberdeen; a place- and promotion- that I always enjoy travelling to. (As mentioned in previous blogs.) I have friends there, and think a great deal of the place. I genuinely hope- and I’m probably jinxing the experience by saying this- that it’ll be a pleasant reminder of what I’m missing, and how much I want to continue doing it. Time will tell.



In August, I’m doing another show over here, for the débuting CCW promotion. Wrestling in Ireland is a major fucking headache, all told, but it’s a new setup, and the guy in charge seems bang-on (or “sound”) so we’ll just see how it goes.



Wait-and-see. Pretty shitty way to wrap this up, isn’t it? Heh heh. Apologies, dear reader, but this is still a work in progress. Now we play the waiting game………



………………………………..



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Ah, the waiting game sucks. Let’s play Hungry, Hungry Hippos!



That’s that for the wrestling portion of this bad boy, anyhow. Now for the random asides…



Really gotten into Arrested Development during the last few months, thanks to a recommendation from a friend of mine. Cheers, Ger. Any salads? (Bit of an in-joke, there.) Excellent show. Definitely one of the wittiest American comedies I’ve ever seen. Naturally, it would have to get cancelled…



Also started watching The Killing- the US version. Not 100% sure how I feel about it. It’s watchable enough, but the characters are incredibly annoying and badly-written, particularly the younger characters on the show; they only serve to annoy the adults, and be grating. The only halfway-likeable guy was turned evil towards the end of the first season, while the female lead is such a cold, unlikeable bitch, it’s genuinely hard to care about her. Wait, why am I watching this again?!



Cabin in the Woods was outstanding. I’ve always enjoyed Joss Whedon’s work (being a fan of Buffy, Angel and Dollhouse, in particular. Firefly, too, is on my ‘to-watch’ list.) This was superb. A really creative and inventive take on the genre, and bloody clever too. Great blend of humour and horror. This year, I’ve also seen and liked Chronicle, Safe House, The Muppets, Contraband and The Hunger Games. Looking forward to seeing The Avengers and The Dark Knight Rises, too; the latter, in particular. The trailers have been deadly so far.



I actually bypassed anger, recently, when a woman driver cut me up on the Malahide Road roundabout in Swords (north Dublin.) I was so shocked and outraged that I couldn’t find the horn to blast at her! That was definitely a first! I’m not a rage-a-holic in the ol’ car, but I definitely have my moments.



I’m not a big ‘gamer’ by any stretch, but I p-p-p-picked up a PS3 last year, and have really enjoyed playing the likes of LA Noire and Arkham Asylum, along with some of the WWE titles, like WWE ’12. Games have come a long way since the classics of my day, like Clayfighter 33.3…



Had a chance to read the Alan Partridge ‘autobiography’ just after Christmas. Great attention-to-detail for fans of the series, and very amusing indeed. Apparently, there’s a film on the way—much as I like the series, I’m always a little cautious about TV comedies being turned into films. There’s not a great precedent for success in this department, but I hope I’m wrong.



A shout-out and ‘thanks’ to my friend Seán for hassling me to do another one of these! That was some quality badgering, man! Hope it was worth it! Thanks also to my buddy Bam Katraz for some inspiration too-- here's a link to his own blog: http://bamkatraz.blogspot.com/ (Bit of a plug, there.)



If you’ve gotten to the end here, thanks for reading, and… eh… “mind ‘ow you go”, as they say. Heh heh. Farewell.

The Ballance Sheet, Blog XX

- originally written Dec 24th, 2011-

One more blog to cap off the year, folks. Been a fair old hiatus since the last one—back in August or so, I think. Haven’t really been in the humour to write for the last while. Anyway, down to business. This is a sort-of ‘year in review’ kinda thing…

Speaking completely honestly, 2011 wasn’t a fantastic year. I tend to be a little overly-critical, but it was fairly disappointing on the whole, and I’m hoping to have a more productive and, frankly, happier 2012, all told.

One major thing from this year that sticks out in my mind is DCW; that is to say “Dublin Championship Wrestling”, the short-lived, notorious Irish promotion that caused its fair share of controversy in its year of operation. I did a few shows for them this year, beginning with a début in February in a so-so match with LA Warren. Warren’s a nice guy, and we get on well, but our chemistry together has never been absolutely tip-top, as it were. Our styles clash, and I don’t think either of us bring out the best in each other; my style doesn’t complement his strengths. Along with that, the ring ropes were appalling that evening in East Wall, which hindered the flow of the match.

I worked two matches the following month in Clondalkin, on a ridiculously stacked fourteen match card, which went on for ages. Tucker and I faced off for the first time, and we had a respectable match for not having worked together before; I also worked Vic Viper later on the card in a pretty good match, with a ludicrous angle to finish it. Vic’s stable- the Family Against Sinners, Kev Rocks, Brother Skelly and Sister Laura- “kidnapped me” in full view of the ref, who proceeded to count me out. The kidnapping plot was their way of writing me out for a month, as I had prior bookings in the UK for their next two shows.

My eventual return was in mid-May, on a show in Beaumont, near my home. I had helped get the venue, and had hopes for a great turnout, considering its location. Back during my time in Irish Whip Wrestling, I had run two shows in Clontarf, which drew decent numbers, along with helping organise the Gym Wars shows. I had experience, and knew the area, and where to promote the heaviest and the strongest for a good return. Ultimately, they decided not to rely on this.

One of the promoters was going through personal problems at the time, so the other one- the chap from Cork, Ger- stepped in to oversee this show. He asked me to help poster and flyer it, which I was happy to do. I just wanted to be paid for my time. I wasn’t prepared to do it for free. I’ve done my fair share of postering and flyering back in the day, with IWW, and I wasn’t gonna do it again in DCW for nothing. Ger elected to do it himself, and made a hames of it. The show was on a Saturday, and he had begun the promoting for it on the Monday of that week. The show drew alright, and far more than it deserved to, considering how poorly it had been promoted.

The poor promoting didn’t extend merely to the advertising of the show locally, but to the advertising online too. A match between, I think, T&K and English lads The Dunne Brothers, was advertised as a ladder match, despite the fact that Ger had not been out to see the venue. If he had, he’d know that the roof was huge- it was a big sports hall- and there was nowhere to hang a belt from. He subsequently turned up on the day, and had to rejig the match to make it “no DQ” instead, reneging on the advertising. Though the lads used ladders, the match before them- another gimmick match, a “first blood match”- also incorporated ladders!

No direction had been given to any of the wrestlers beforehand, and there was no card/running order up in the dressing room- it’s a personal preference of mine, but I think there should always be a running order, with match times, results and any other notes from the promoter/booker on their expectations for the card and matches. It’s certainly how I’d do things. So, with no direction from the “booker”, every match ran over time, and guys threw ridiculous amounts of false finishes into their matches.
Another personal preference but, for me, everything on the show should build to the main event. The Rock/Austin-esque false finish sequence should be reserved for the main event, or the match with the “highest stakes”, when it can have the most impact. (It may come across as biased, considering I was in the main event for this show, but I adopt the same attitude even when I’m not. A show, from start to finish, is a team effort and, personally, I think it helps if everyone knows what role they’re intended to fill.)

The Artane/Beaumont show was an absolute mess, truth told, opening and closing with kayfabe-killing sequences. All the wrestlers, bar me and three others, filed out to the ring to open the show, to pay a ten-bell tribute to the then-recently departed “Macho Man” Randy Savage. I didn’t know the man personally, so I didn’t think it in good taste to head out. Same thing with Eddy Guerrero’s death in 2005. I was on a show the evening after his death, and guys were wearing black armbands, saluting to the heavens and so forth; which was completely fine, by the way. It’s just not for me. Unless I knew someone personally, I wouldn’t pay tribute publicly. Each to their own.

Anyway, the show opened with that. To any casual fans, it would be an unusual first impression. The show ran way over time, too. Three hours after opening, and I was just heading out for the M.E. with Vic Viper. The match itself was decent, but the festivities post-match were ridiculous.

First off- the booking of the Ballance/Family feud. I face Vic in Clondalkin, and am kidnapped mid-match and “held captive” for months. I subsequently return, lose to Vic in my hometown, and the feud is dropped. Honestly, what the fuck. The reason given to me for why it was dropped was that “not enough promos had been filmed” to build up the feud (despite no one asking me to shoot any!) Even if they wanted Vic in a title feud with someone else, the feud could’ve been continued with me seeking vengeance against Skelly, who had shot a promo on me a few days before the Beaumont show, and helped cost me the match with Vic. Logic!

Instead, post-match, Andy Phoenix (holder of DCW’s money in the bank briefcase) came out, and hit me in the head with the briefcase, making absolutely no sense whatsoever. Why not “cash in” on Viper? It was another in a long, long, long line of DCW’s Russo-esque nonsensical booking decisions. Andy and I had had no previous interactions on shows in any way, shape or form, so this feud arose from nothing. Ger, the promoter, sprung this whole post-match nonsense on me five minutes before Vic and I were due to go out, and I was irritated and utterly nonplussed for why it was being thrown in, as it was gonna end the show on a further downer. The babyface has lost, isn’t given a chance to send the crowd home happy or save face, and is hit with a briefcase, too? I was assured, though, that a downer wouldn’t happen as they were going to have an in-ring birthday celebration for one of the other wrestlers (Working Class Jones, a heel/tweener on the show) to end the show (and obliterate kayfabe.)

There was no promo, either, to open the show and set up the match with Vic and me. I was just to come out to my own music- which they also fucked up- and act like I was “under the influence” of the Family’s brainwashing. I’ve done some acting, and had a little experience in that regard, but I definitely couldn’t call on that to bring this dreck to life. It was appalling stuff, and it was one of the worst shows I’ve ever been a part of in six and a half years. Embarrassing stuff, and made all the worse by the fact that I have to pass the venue every day, and be reminded of it!

The one positive to come from it was that my frustration and, frankly, anger over the hare-brained booking sparked my creativity, and began a short series of promos where my barely-veiled contempt shone through. Along with that, the match with Andy Phoenix turned out very well, Andy was great to work with, and the match- in one of my favourite venues, Balbriggan- turned out to be one of my favourite ones this year.

There was also the short-lived DCW Training School, which lasted for a few weeks, before shutting up shop. I agreed to be a trainer there, and was looking forward to teaching again. The place was a kip, though, and badly-promoted, and attendance was pathetic. It bled money, and was done within six to eight weeks. My association with it, too, as a mere trainer, had a detrimental effect, and stopped me being able to get ring time elsewhere. That’s Ireland for you.

The DCW experience on the whole was largely mixed- with the scales tipping more towards the negative than the positive- and more than likely marked my final foray into Irish wrestling. I enjoyed working with guys I hadn’t had the chance to work before, like Andy Phoenix and Anthony Idol, working with old IWW alumni, and getting the chance to hone my promos, but the frustration was maddening. Considering the experience at their disposal, seeing the lack of organisation and cluelessness on display was infuriating. (I should note, though, to give a properly balanced view, that Dave, the slightly more vilified of the two promoters, was open to constructive criticism, and did put into practice things I'd told him, which was appreciated.)
The phrase “you can never go home again” made a lot more sense to me, after the experience. Seeing the former IWW lads was nice, but it wasn’t IWW. Our time back then was what it was. A shared experience, fun, and unforgettable, but it can’t be repeated, and to try is futile. (Ever the optimist…) Nice seeing them again, though, however briefly.

Trips abroad this year were mostly fine. I had three shows with DPW in Yorkshire, which were grand. Unfortunately, the promotion has since shut up shop. Admirably, Toga (the promoter) recognised that he had done everything he could, but the shows weren’t returning the types of numbers he was looking for, so took a business decision to cease promoting. Fair play to him; a smart move, under the circumstances. I’ve worked with him, and DPW, since 2007, and performed on their début show in an enjoyable match with El Ligero. I had some very pleasing matches over the years with Ligero, Cameron Kraze, CJ Banks, Bubblegum, and others. It’s a shame it’s over, but it was a very good experience, and nice meeting a load of different guys.

I had fun return trips to WrestleZone in Scotland, and Total Action Wrestling in England, along with débuts for NEWS (England), EWP (Ireland) and PWF (Germany). The NEWS match allowed me another chance to work with Pac, who I had a very satisfying series of matches with in 2006/2007. The PWF experience was cool, and the German fans were very friendly and welcoming. My match with Leon van Gasteren turned out well, and it was my first time wrestling as Gary ‘Bingo’ Ballance. I’ll more than likely stick to being “Bingo Ballance” (due to it being catchier), but it was interesting trying it out once.




I also had the TNA Gutcheck thing in January of this year, which was interesting, as expected, and amounted to nothing, even more expected! It was fun working with RJ Singh again, though in retrospect, I would’ve loved to have been able to work ‘face, and chuck in some of my ‘flashier’ stuff, considering it was a tryout, at the end of the day. I find working ‘face more natural, Ross is a fantastic heel, and I think our natural dynamics would’ve played a bit better. Spilled milk, though. It turned out well, anyway, and it was an experience in itself working in an empty Wembley Arena. Memorable.

Wrestling-wise, I think I’ve covered most of the notable stuff from this year in other blogs: working under a mask for the first time, the six-way ladder match, my male modelling for John Morrissey (heh heh) and so forth. Average year, slightly disappointing from my own standpoint, but hopefully something to build on for 2012.

Off-topic stuff now…

Films! My favourite film this year was Warrior, which was absolutely fantastic. Brilliant acting, gripping story, and head and shoulders above anything else I saw this year. Other notable mentions, and films I thought were very good, were Super 8, Insidious, Scream 4, X Men: First Class, and Fright Night. Superhero films like The Green Lantern, Captain America and Thor were ok, but not fantastic, Captain America being the best of the three, I felt. The final Harry Potter was quite good, but I don’t think matched the build up from The Deathly Hallows Part 1. I also enjoyed The Thing, The Wicker Tree (belated sequel to The Wicker Man from 1973), Kill List, Fast and the Furious 5, Real Steel, Cowboys and Aliens, The Ides of March and Source Code. In Time, I felt, had a great premise but was horribly executed. Dream House was a mess, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy was dull and convoluted and, perhaps controversially, I didn’t like Drive, finding it a little pretentious. The Next Three Days was a little disappointing, and I was a tiny bit let down by The Inbetweeners Movie- good, but the TV series had set the bar high. Hoping to see M:I-4 before the year ends, too.

Looking forward very much to The Dark Knight Rises next July, as are many. I’m sure it’ll live up to the hype. Christopher Nolan’s series has been brilliant so far.

TV! Season 7 of House was considerably better than I’d heard, and the addition of Amber Tamblyn’s character, Martha Masters, was an excellent breath of fresh air… I got through Seasons 2, 3, 4 & 5 of Dexter this year, enjoying all, albeit to varying degrees. Season 4 was a high, I must say, with John Lithgow’s arresting performance… Family Guy’s quality hasn’t dipped, to my mind, and is still extremely witty and on-the-mark… I found Season 6 of Supernatural to be a mixed bag, truth be told. A very “busy” season, but something felt like it was missing. Still some good stuff on display, though. Just wish they’d ditch some of the forced dialogue they use at times. (“Ganking” demons being one phrase I never want to hear again!)… Season 3 of In Treatment was very compelling, as with the other seasons, and finished off the series nicely…

Against my better judgment, I watched this year’s X Factor too. The switch-up in judges was a good one, I felt, especially since three of the four of them can actually sing this year! Tulisa was far better than Cheryl Cole, though Kelly Rowland was incredibly irritating (apart from telling Little Mix that “y’all have worked y’all’s butts off”. Heh heh.) The choice of winner’s song was, in a word, “pants”, however! Frankie Coccozza’s very appearance proved irritating, week after week. Do women actually find specimens like him attractive? The mind boggles…

That’s it, in essence. Thanks to the four or five of you continuing to read these, or visiting my page. Much obliged!

Happy Christmas, and all the best for 2012.

Ballance

The Ballance Sheet, Blog XIX

- originally written Sept 6th, 2011-

My first bit of wrestling action in August took me back to WrestleZone in Scotland, to Stonehaven. For the second time this year, as well, I’d have a travelling companion in Brother Skelly. He & I headed over to Total Action Wrestling back in April, and it was cool to have his company again for this trip.

Travel-wise, everything went nicely to plan. There was no Dublin-to-Aberdeen flight that morning, so we flew into Edinburgh, got the bus into Edinburgh city centre, and got the train to Aberdeen. We had about an hour to hang around Edinburgh city centre before the connecting train, and it was great to see it again. I’d had a nice break there a few years ago with ‘the missus’. The train journey was relaxing and enjoyable, and I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the train was going to be stopping off in Stonehaven, so Skelly & I got off there, rather than in Aberdeen. Gave us a few hours to chill out, and explore.

It was an absolute scorcher of a day, so we sat by the river awhile, shooting the shit, figuratively-speaking, along with shooting pigeons and children, literally-speaking. (Well…, not really..) It was cool having Skelly there- as I probably would’ve just wandered around the place awhile if I were ‘on my Tobler’- and it allowed for a rare “stop-to-smell-the-roses” moment, appreciating the opportunity to see the places we’ve seen; places we would never have got the chance to, if not for our involvement in wrestling. We probably never would’ve crossed paths, ourselves. I could apply that to most of the guys I’ve known, and formed friendships with, in wrestling. Would we ever have met, if not for our mutual involvement in this crazy activity? Who knows? It’s funny how life works out, and the various people you encounter, and collide with.



Stonehaven Town Hall was a great venue and, though the “unpredictability factor” kicked in, since the place hadn’t had a fix of wrestling in ten years, such worry proved unfounded, as the place was nicely packed out, once bell-time came around. Before that, however, I had the chance to do another training seminar with the WZ lads, who put in a terrific amount of effort again, as with previous seminars I’d done with them. It’s encouraging, and pleasing, to see them improving each time I come over. As well as that, they’re a great bunch of lads, so I like to see them progress.

Skelly opened the show in a very nice match with Johnny Lions, who I’d previously worked with twice in 2009, and enjoyed working with thoroughly. My own match was against the masked Blue Thunder, after the interval. There were two minor notes of interest, prior to this bout, though.

First, I was trying out tights for the first time. Pretty much since I started in 2005, I’ve gone with pleather, and I like it. As much as others tend to look down on pleather and kickpads- and regard them as “indy”- I like them. Fuck the “gear snobs”- I like my gear, and think it looks well, and suits my character and body type. That said, I do like to branch out on occasion, and try different things, so I wanted to give tights a shot. They felt good, and AWP did an awesome job with the gear design again, surpassing my expectations. I’ll be mixing and matching over the next while, I reckon.

The second point of note- and of slight concern to me- was that my right elbow was massively puffed-up with fluid at the time of that show. I’d banged it a few times in weeks leading up to the show, doing my big plancha to the outside- the “Sexual Harassment Plancha”- and having had a fall on it in a game of indoor football. The obvious answer would’ve been to wear an elbow pad, but I’d sold my only pair a few weeks before, to a trainee over here. I’ve never worn elbow pads, and just don’t like wearing them, but really could’ve done with one on this occasion, as I feared that one bad fall on it would pop the fluid sac in my elbow. I didn’t know what would happen if that was to occur, but I didn’t want to find out. Thankfully, one of the WZ trainees- a nice chap named Dave- loaned me a pad for the match, so I was all set.

The match with Blue Thunder went well, and I enjoyed it, but it was slightly marred by some idiot who jumped into the ring, early into the match. Full credit to the security staff, who had him out of there in very swift fashion. It took away from the match a little bit, though, and distracted the audience. Though we got them back, it was an unwelcome interruption to proceedings. Weirdly, when I took off my elbow pad after the match, the fluid had gone, and my elbow was back to its normal size. I probably bumped it out, or the fluid’s gone elsewhere; probably, my brain. That would explain a lot, actually…

As with previous trips to WZ, I stayed over in ‘Chateau Stirling’, with Alan & Cara. Regular readers of this blog (heh heh- yeah, right) might recall that last year, I hit a woman; granted, just a light, retaliatory slap, to a particularly foolish woman, but the point stands. Could I possibly sink lower, you’re wondering…? Heh. How about beating up an infant? Poor Jake- Alan and Cara’s two year old son- got a fair old pasting from this visiting Irishman, suffering an ankle lock, Walls of Jericho and my own G-17 finisher! He was quite a trooper, though, and sold them all nicely. He’s got a bright future ahead of him! The stay-over was, as always, very nice, and it was cool seeing Alan, Cara, Jake and Oliver again.

Skelly & I flew back from Aberdeen, though the flight was delayed by an hour or two. I usually find delays rather vexing if I’m flying solo, but it was fine having a bit of company, on this occasion, and we actually got to have a bit of lunch at the Airport, before the flight. The Sunday we flew back, incidentally, was the weekend that the London riots kicked off, so it was interesting to see that unfold over the course of the next week. An extremely bizarre situation. Nevertheless, we made it back to Dublin without any hassle, and parted company. It was a fun weekend, and enjoyable travelling with Skelly again.

The following week, wrestling writer Phil Allely dropped me a mail, and asked if I would be interested to do an interview for him. I was, and did, and the interview is here: http://www.famemagazine.co.uk/2011/08/24/irish-wrestler-bingo-balance-talks-indy-grappling/

The next weekend, I worked for Emerald Wrestling Promotions, in Galway, in the west of Ireland. EWP is Eamonn O’Neill’s promotion, and I found him a nice, sound chap to deal with. I drove to Galway with Joe Cabrey, Shawn Maxer and Phil Boyd, and the trip was fine. The show drew quite well for a Sunday matinée, and I worked Maxer in the second match.

For only the second time in my career, for lack of a better term, I was wrestling masked, as Eamonn wanted a masked wrestler on the show. Understandable, considering the popularity of guys like Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara. It was quite a knock to my vanity, though! Heh heh. (The other time I wrestled masked, by the way, was as a “Blagger Boy” for IWW, back in 2006. The Blagger character was a masked jobber, in a boiler suit and balaclava. Nearly everyone on the roster had done ‘Blagger detail’ at one point or another , and it was fun. There were a load of complaints about the Blagger characters, actually, when they appeared on Season 1 of Whiplash, in 2005; many thought they were IRA-type paramilitary characters!)

Rather than a balaclava this time, though, it was a standard lucha mask I’d be wearing. The mask, incidentally, was the gold ‘Space Cadet’ mask from IWW, previously worn by Brother Skelly, and the DCW/original incarnation of Space Cadet, who very kindly loaned it to me for the occasion.

The match went grand, though I have to admit I found it difficult working under the mask (as ‘The Lightning Kid.’) For one thing, it kinda fucked with my depth perception, particularly jumping for my springboard crossbody, a move I’ve done countless times over the last six years. It became slightly more difficult to judge the jumping distance, and so forth, but I landed the move alright. Following the unwritten rule that masked wrestlers on indy shows have to hit a 619, I hit the old.. eh.. the old 619, didn’t I? Heh heh.

After the interval, there was a royal rumble-type match, which was fun, as they usually are. I worked a bit with UK wrestler Stixx, who I hadn’t seen in a while. Nice fella.

It being a matinée, it was nice getting back on the road back to Dublin early, and I was home, myself, around half seven, with a few hours left in the weekend, to enjoy. That was a nice plus.

I was due to work my rematch with Andy Phoenix the following weekend, for DCW in Drimnagh but, due to some controversial goings-on, shall we say, the show was cancelled, the promoter abdicated, and the promotion has since been wrapped up. (I use that expression in a casual sense, not a business one.) All DCW’s faults and failings aside- most of which have been publicly aired in the weeks that followed- I enjoyed the few occasions this year getting to work locally, on shows with some of my mates, even getting to work with some of them. I hadn’t worked Vic Viper since 2009 or so, and it was great getting to have a few matches with him. It was nice to see some of the ‘old guard’ again, along with meeting a few new faces.

The following weekend, I flew back to Edinburgh. Though I’d been there only three weeks before, it felt a lot longer, weirdly. The flight over was hassle (and hen/stag party) free, which was refreshing. I spent the journey over getting stuck into a puzzle book. The turbulence made it somewhat difficult to colour within the lines. Heh heh. Nah, it was one of those puzzle compendium dealies, with crosswords, arrowords, Sudoku, etc. Passed the time quite quickly.

I was working for SWE in Dundee, and I got picked up by one of their workers, Claymore, and his fiancée, Charlotte, both of whom I’d stayed with when I worked the Hell for Lycra show last year. Nice seeing them both again, and catching up.

There was a fair bit of time to kill before the show, but it gave the opportunity to catch up with the WrestleZone lads, who were there as well, and Rob Cage, who I hadn’t seen since March of last year, when we worked a triple-threat match in SSW. Very sound man. Along with those lads, the show featured a few former WWF guys, in Ted Dibiase, Sr., Virgil and Tatanka, all of whom were very polite. I’d heard stories before that Tatanka was a bit of an asshole but, to be honest, he seemed like a nice guy, and was professional and friendly to everyone. Goes to show that most of what you hear in wrestling is bullshit, and you’re better off judging someone on your own experiences with them, rather than on stuff you hear. Unfortunately, more often than not, that’s not what happens, and hearsay generally becomes fact. Such is life…

The show was ‘Hell for Lycra VIII’, and was at the same venue as last year: Bonar Hall, in Dundee University. It’s a nice place, and a good venue for a show. Last year, I faced Scotty Swift in a very enjoyable match. This year, I was part of a six-way ladder match, with Rob Cage, EG Mackie, Don Roid, Martin Stallyon and Ian Ambrose. I was reticent about it in advance, due to the dangerous nature of matches like this, and because trying to plan six-way matches is insanely headache-inducing. My reservations about the latter proved fairly well-founded; planning was not fun. That said, it got done, and the actual execution of the match was great. Certainly turned out to be a lot more fun doing it than planning it! The crowd of around 300 or so were into the action, and it seemed to be many people’s favourite match on the card, which was cool to hear.

Regardless of the hassle trying to put everything together, it was very enjoyable working with all five of the other lads, and a really nice team effort pulling off the match, particularly the innovative finish; Rob and Martin were trapped under the bottom rungs of the ladder, Ian Ambrose and I were hung upside down (“tree of woe” style) on opposite sides of it, and Don Roid seemed to be making his ascent for the SWE Future Division Title. EG Mackie snuck in, though, and managed to grab it first, much to the approval of the crowd. Fun match, anyway.



SWE trainee Sam Ross very kindly put me up for the evening, after the show, and ran me back to the Airport the following morning, which was much appreciated. Very nice chap. The flight home was grand, and that was that for August.

In other stuff… I never had any major beef with Bruno Mars prior to recently. I found ‘Grenade’ to be a ridiculously overplayed, mildly irritating song, but that was a classic compared to the woeful ‘Marry You’, currently polluting the airwaves. Having had to wake up to that song for a few mornings in a row- as my alarm clock radio is set to Dublin station Spin 103.8FM- I have grown to DETEST it with a passion. It is the epitome of “crap” and- as someone who’s not really a morning person to begin with- has put me in fairly bad humour, the few occasions I’ve had to wake up to it… Grr…

Ending on a positive note, I give my thumbs up to the remake of Fright Night, which was a very entertaining, and fun film, and one of the few 3D films I’ve seen that used the technology fairly well. That said, I’m still not a fan of the whole ‘3D craze.’

That’ll do it. Cheers for reading, folks.

Ballance