Consideration

I was out to lunch this afternoon with my brother and my folks in Eddie Rocket’s. The folks are due to head off for a few days, so we were hoping to have a nice meal before their departure. It wasn’t to be, though.

We went, alright, but it wasn’t a pleasant experience.

Food-wise, Eddie Rocket’s always delivers. The quality, price and selection sets it apart from its competitors. The dining experience, however, can be mixed at times. On one occasion, I had to deal with some sarcasm from a surly, butch Eastern European waitress, when I politely told her that I’d be ready to order dessert “in about ten minutes”, once I’d had some time to digest the main course, and let it settle. She was rude, and sarcastic, and earned herself a nice, round zero tip for her insolence.

On balance, pun aside, the service is usually pretty good. We headed to the Santry branch this afternoon- around one- and sat down to fill our faces, as it were. (With food.)

A kids’ party on the opposite side of the diner, however, ensured that it was most definitely not a peaceful and quiet dining experience. We could barely hear each other over the pre-pubescent din. I know a lot of people say “I’m not the type to complain”, but we are typically, genuinely not the type to complain. As is all-too-customary of Irish people, we vote with our feet. (Not literally- that would be hideous.) If we don’t enjoy a dining experience, we’ll smile, say everything was “lovely” and just not return. I know we’re not alone in this regard. So many do it.

I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions, but I have been trying to be a bit more direct recently. Last year, I was out with the missus in TGI Friday’s on Stephen’s Green, and received some particularly bad service, which really irks me. Bad service is one of my biggest pet peeves, especially these days when so many skilled people are looking for work, jobs are so scarce, and business is down. If you’re a manager, and you have rude staff dealing with the public, you’re an idiot. I make no room for that assertion. If you would risk sales to keep a surly member of staff on the books, just because you couldn’t be arsed hiring someone new, you are an idiot.

I worked for three years in a McDonald’s in Dublin city centre, and dealt with every age, race and creed. I did so with professionalism and aplomb, insofar as possible. I know what it takes to give good service and, honestly, it’s not that much. It’s not.

The waitress we were saddled with that night in TGI’s, though, was abysmal. She was unfriendly, rude and, crucially, brought us the bill without us asking for it. She didn’t ask us if we wanted a dessert, or tea or coffee. She just dropped the bill on our table and fucked off.

We elected to just pay up, and get a dessert somewhere else. I can’t remember the exact value of the bill, but I remember that it came to a certain amount of Euro, and thirty-seven cent. Unfortunately, neither I nor the girlfriend had exact change, so we put down fifty cent. To this day, I begrudge giving the waitress even thirteen cent as a tip. She would’ve- and should’ve- got nothing, and I’m annoyed with myself to this day that I didn’t say anything.

Ireland, as a country, has inherited a lot from the States over the past twenty years, even down to that irritating faux-American accent Jedward (and a lot of other people) seem to speak with, and people referring to their mother’s as their “mom.” Thankfully, we have not inherited their culture of tipping, and still retain our own sovereignty in that regard. My view is a simple one: I will not tip unless the service is good. I don’t expect to be fawned over. I expect professionalism, politeness, and a certain amount of space. That’s all.

Service wasn’t the problem in Eddie Rocket’s today, though. It was a problem that has become all-too-prevalent in Irish society nowadays: laissez-faire parenting.

We were trying to chat amongst ourselves, while a party of 8-10 year olds were shouting and screaming, and making a shitload of noise, to be blunt. My mother broached the topic with the waitress, once we’d finished our mains, and she basically shrugged it off, in a way, saying that there were frequent kids parties in the place, and that their heads “do be always melted” having to listen to them. She suggested that my mother talk to their supervisor- that is, to say, the adult accompanying the party.

Just let that sink in for a second. She suggested my mother deal with the problem, rather than tackle it, herself, or speak to her manager about it. Really.

My mother went over, talked to the guy who was with them, and he basically laughed it off, and shrugged. There was nothing he was going to do about it.

As I say, this is all-too-prevalent these days. If I had a child or children, and brought them to a restaurant, and they were making noise, running around the place or disrupting other patrons, I’d be fucking mortified. They’d be taken home, and not brought out to eat again for a long, long time.

That’s just the problem, though. There’s no shame in society anymore, as evidenced by the fact that people will walk the streets in their pyjamas. There’s this fucking sense of self-entitlement that’s permeated. These people will bring their children out, let them run around, and the hell with anyone else who came out to enjoy a meal. “I’m here with my kids and I’m going to have a good time.” No consideration for anyone else, and no regard, and god forbid if anyone else should take issue with them running around the place. “How dare you tell me how to raise my child(ren)!” And the restaurants, themselves, are terrified. They won’t say anything lest they cause offence. So, everyone else has to bite their tongues and endure it.

The same with people talking in the cinema, or stag/hen parties roaring and shouting on Ryanair flights. There seems to be this sense of entitlement that, once you’ve paid money for a ticket or something, that gives you the right to behave however you wish, and “fuck everyone else.” It’s ridiculous. I’ve paid the same amount for my cinema ticket, the same amount for my flight. Why should I be prevented from seeing the film because you want to have a natter during it? Why should the quiet enjoyment of my flight be disrupted because you and your posse of overly made-up oompah loompas want to shriek over to each other, rather than talk at a civilised level?

There’s a saying by our old pal Confucius: “Consideration for others is the basis of a good life, a good society.” I fully agree with this. I’m not perfect, by any means- nor will I ever claim to be- but I try to live my life insofar as possible, with consideration for others.

I don’t believe in the concept of “world peace.” I don’t think it’s possible. Human beings, by their very nature, clash. There will always be a reason not to like someone or have an enmity with someone else. It’s natural. That said, a lot of needless conflict and arguments could easily be avoided by showing consideration for others.

Unfortunately, that’s not the society we live in. Don’t get me wrong- I’m not completely pessimistic: during the so-called “Big Freeze” in 2010/2011, I bore witness to a lot of genuine kindness between strangers, when people would help to push cars stuck on the ice, or help people up off the pavement if they’d taken a bit of a spill. Silly as it sounds, it was nice to witness such a pleasant sense of community. At the same time, I witnessed a lot of ignorant, stupid kids throwing snow and iceballs at passers-by and cars. It all balanced out, in the end.

Ultimately, there is no consideration anymore, and there’s no shame, and I witness it regularly. Like these fuckwits down the back of the bus pumping out their “choons” full volume out of their phones, and disrupting everyone else on the journey. Like idiots who will park across two parking spaces, rather than take the time to properly line up their car, so as to leave room for someone else. Like people who will let a door slam in the face of someone behind them, just because they don’t have the forethought to turn their head and check.

Manners and consideration are dying out, and it’s a shame to see. Truly. It starts with the parenting, and with setting an example.

As I’ve seen, though, many times over the last few years, having to endure hyperactive children and inactive parents, that example just isn’t being set.  

Consideration IS the basis of a good society, I agree; and from what I’ve seen, we do not have one.