The Ballance Sheet, Blog XXVII

June 5th marks ten years that I've been involved in "dis bizness", to use the oft-quoted Triple H line. In light of this momentous occasion...., we're havin' ribs. Nah, not quite. But I definitely do fancy a quick trip down memory lane, and sharing a small smattering of the more memorable moments, occasions, incidents and so on, from the decade I've been in the simulated fightin' business. So, here we go...

FAVOURITE BOTCH
Like any other wrestler out there, I've had my fair share of botches - be it a blown spot, a flubbed line, or just something that hasn't gone quite right. My personal favourite, though- simply due to just how much of a wally I ended up looking like- was for a German promotion called Saarland Wrestling Organisation (SWO) from 2009.

I'd travelled over from Dublin, and was due to work the evening show against a worker called Bernd Foehr. (Bernd, incidentally, was a lovely guy, and we had two very enjoyable matches, in both SWO and next year for Alpha Pro Wrestling.) I also had an impromptu match on the matinée show, earlier in the day, against an American worker called CorVus; also a really sound chap. We didn't have a whole lot of time to plan, so most of the match (if I recall correctly) had to be called on the fly, which was fine. One miscommunication, however, led to an unfortunate (but amusing) botch, on my behalf. I'd called to CorVus- through wrestling 'shorthand', as it were- that I was going to whip him to the far corner, hit him with a clothesline, and that he was to stagger out behind me, so I could catch him with a springboard crossbody in the middle of the ring. I whipped him, he took the buckle, I hit him with a clothesline, then took off, sprung off the top rope on the other side of the ring.... and crashed to the mat below. I groaned, rolled over, and saw CorVus still standing in the far corner, selling the clothesline! I can only imagine how it looked to those in attendance, but from my own point of view, I thought it was pretty fucking funny! Aside from that miscommunication, I actually liked that match with CorVus quite a bit.

Here, in a vertical position, for SWO's show in Kaiserslautern, in Germany.

For a guy that springboards a good bit, I've been quite lucky not to fall on my ass too often, or botch particularly badly.  That SWO botch, though, stands up as one of my favourites for its sheer ridiculousness.


FOLLOW THAT!
Crowd interaction is the lifeblood of any match and, as I'm sure any wrestler will tell you, trying to work a match in front of a dull, listless crowd is probably one of the most soul-destroying things you can experience. (Certainly, I would say that, at least!) I remember working a pretty damn good outdoor match with Seán Maxer in Portadown, a few years ago, where we were just stared at by a load of slack-jawed, dead-eyed proles. Definitely irked me, for the effort we put in.

Sometimes, though, different factors can kill a crowd, and make them less responsive: a show running long, a match with too much drama to be topped by any subsequent bout (like Orton/Triple H having to follow 'Taker/Michaels from WM25) or something else entirely. Two memorable such moments stand out to me.

The first was from May of 2007. I was defending the IWW Zero Gravity Title in a Fatal Fourway for English promotion PTW against Ross Jordan (RJ Singh), Seb Drea and Matt Naylor. The match itself, I have to say, was a lot of fun - three great talents to work with. We had to follow something utterly surreal, though.

PTW had been in a local feud with another promotion (ACW, if memory serves) over control of the Luton area. Midway through the show, one of ACW's guys- a fella called Bull Harley (worker name, I assume)- stormed into the venue, roaring for PTW promoter Petey Staniforth to show himself, as he'd apparently slandered him on the UKFF, calling him a paedophile, amongst other things. A pull-apart quarrel ensued, Harley left (or was ejected - I can't remember) and Staniforth elected to rant, and share the incident, with a bemused, befuddled and bewildered audience, mere minutes before Seb, Ross, Matt and I were due to go out and work the main event! It was tough work getting the crowd back, I have to say, but we got there.

The conclusion of the IWW ZG Fourway against Seb Drea, Matt Naylor and Ross Jordan (pictured) for PTW. A fun match, in spite of the circumstances

The second moment was definitely not light-hearted in nature. (Not that the first was, either, but it was more amusing to this Irish bystander. Nevertheless...) At a 1PW show at the Granby in 2008, I was working Lionheart in the second half of the show, following a tag match between Hubba Bubba Lucha (Bubblegum & El Ligero) and Scottish team Fight Club. Bubblegum, very unfortunately, had injured his neck during the match, and had to be legitimately stretchered out of the place, and taken to hospital. The crowd, understandably, were concerned for him, as was everybody backstage, and a subdued hush fell over the place. Lionheart and I were then tasked with the rather Herculean challenge of trying to get them back into the entertainment. Again, a tough job, but it was a solid match, and the crowd actually did their part, and made the effort to get behind us and help out, which was much appreciated.

FAVOURITE VENUES
I've had the pleasure of working in a good variety of places over the years, but I would definitely have a few venues that I hold in my memory a little more dearly than others. One would be the Le Chéile (Irish for 'together') Community Centre in Donnycarney, in Dublin. Along with being a stone's throw from where I lived at the time, and live now, it was an awesome place to wrestle, and was host to a number of lively and exciting IWW shows that I was a part of. I defended the ZG Title there in a fun Donnybrook Match with Red Vinny, Bubblegum and El Ligero in early 2007, had a pretty damn good Triple Threat for the belt with Vinny and LA Warren later that year, and battled Vic Viper, Bam Katraz, Vinny and Scotland's Liam Thomson in 2008 in a thrilling 5 Way match. Irish Whip pretty much always drew good numbers in Donnycarney, and it was a blast to get to perform in front of loud, energetic and appreciative crowds.

Nailing frequent opponent (and occasional partner) Red Vinny with a bulldog in Donnycarney- March 2007. (Thanks to Mark Lyons for this shot)

Balbriggan Community Centre is also an old favourite of mine. Along with the Zero Gravity Tournament victory there in January 2007- an amazing night- I had extremely pleasing battles with the likes of Bam Katraz, Red Vinny, Brother Skelly, Kid Fite, JP Monroe, Irish Dragon and Andy Phoenix, amongst others. The Balbriggan fans were terrific, and I always enjoyed working there. Though there were minor misfortunes- like dropping my wage from the ZG show (and the three matches I'd worked) from my bag in a rush to get the last train home, and wrestler/ref Rick O'Shea being chased through the town by hooligans- the bad was definitely outweighed by the good, and Balbriggan holds many dear memories from my ten years doing this.

Prepping Kev Dunphy for my G-17 finisher in Balbriggan- Jan 2007. (Thanks for Wesley Donohoe for this pic)

Any time you get to wrestle in front of huge audiences is fantastic. Working at the Doncaster Dome for 1PW in 2008 was cool to have done- along with a brace of shows for PBW at the Magnum Centre in Irvine (another great venue)- but the three shows for WrestleZone in Aberdeen's Beach Ballroom have been amongst my favourites. Great venue, great crowds, and a really wonderful group of people to work with. I had one of the best matches of my career there, with Stevie Xavier in 2013, and had a ball working with Andy Wild, Shawn Johnson and Kenny Williams in 2014 & 2015 in front of upwards of 1,300 people. Incredible.

Hitting the G-17 on Stevie Xavier at WZ's first Aberdeen Anarchy show- June 2013. (Thanks to Baba for this photo)

...AND NOT-SO-FAVOURITE VENUES/PLACES TO WRESTLE
I wouldn't class these at all as places I haven't enjoyed wrestling, but I would say that the shows I've worked for Wrestling.IE over the last few years have been challenging. Backstage, the theatre shows have been a dream to be at: loads of space to wander around and kick back, and very, very comfortable. Along with that, they photograph well, and can fit a good-sized crowd. Unfortunately, though, one of the problems with performing in a theatre is you're not performing 'in the round', as it were, and to four sides of the audience. If the crowd is particularly far away (as they were in Downpatrick) it's difficult to get them involved and responsive. Thus, my preference is to work with the crowd on all four sides- makes it a little more difficult to get away with sly calls, but it's worth it for having the audience all around you, and closer to the action.

Crowd positioning aside, anywhere that's tight on space backstage generally grinds my gears big style. I like to have a bit of room to warm up, stretch out, and go through the match with the guy(s) I'm working with, or just on my own. Places where that's been especially difficult were the likes of the Granby in Doncaster (pretty much no room behind the curtain), a venue in Dunston (where we had to change in a small garden out the back of a pub) and another in Gateshead (where all the workers were piled on top of each other in a small room out the back, and there was barely enough room to swing a cat - made the whole exercise of smuggling a striped tomcat in my carry-on luggage disappointingly redundant.)      

MEMORABLE 'EWWWW' MOMENTS
Yep, there have been a fair few o' these, alright. Like a shellshocked 'Nam veteran, the frequent flashbacks of ass crack from my training days still haunt my waking hours! Seriously, though, the sight became so regular a feature of training that I grew completely desensitised to it. Another trainee once commented that the longer training went on, the less appalled I became, and my reaction became more of a grudging acceptance, mixed with disappointment. Well observed.

Worse, though, than the ol' plumber's crack was one trainee who actually shat himself after taking a bodyslam from yours truly. His choice to wear grey sweatpants that day was ill-advised, to put it mildly.

Most of the guys I've been in the ring with, I have to say, have had pretty good personal hygiene. One chap I worked with about five years ago, though, absolutely stank to high heaven, and it was a rather unpleasant experience sharing the ring with him, as harsh as that sounds. His musk would linger in a room long after he'd departed, and his excessive body hair didn't help matters. Stuff like shaving your armpits is something I've always believed in, from the day I started; along with it being more aesthetically pleasing for an audience, it shows a bit of consideration for the guy(s) you're working with, so that they're not getting a mush full of your 'pit hair if you're cinching in a headlock on them! At any rate, my opponent, on this occasion, didn't share my belief, and I wasn't the better for it, I can assure you.  

...AND HEART-STOPPING MOMENTS
Most of my heart-stopping moments came from training, and from seeing people either hurt themselves or nearly hurt themselves. The top rope snapped once when a trainee was running them, and he went flying to the floor below. To say my heart was in my mouth would be an understatement! Thankfully, he was fine. On another occasion, trainee Keith Hagan (who I had a number of very enjoyable matches with in 2008) got concussed from a double-flapjack in training. He'd been launched so far that he missed the crashmat, and hit a part of the ring where the padding had slipped away from. (When head hits wood, wood always wins.) I was kinda bricking it that his mother was gonna give me the third degree when she turned up to collect him, but she was very sound and understanding. As Keith later told me, she was more surprised that my last name was actually Ballance!

 Worse, though, was an accident that befell a nice young lad called Jason, who'd travelled to training from Laois ("Leash") on a number of occasions. Unbeknownst to all of us- and he, himself, I'd say- Jason had a blood clot in his brain, and it burst during training while he was straining to apply a single-leg Boston crab on another trainee. He suffered a brain haemorrhage, an ambulance (and his dad) had to be called, and he was in a coma for a few days. A few of the guys who were training there that night were quite shook-up by the experience; as was I, I have to say. I took the role of trainer seriously, and it never sat easy when someone got hurt on my watch. Thankfully, though, Jason recovered fully, and I see him every so often when passing through Laois, on the way to CCW shows.

SOUND VETS
Doug Basham was a class act, and it was great to have him around in 2008 & 2009. Still gutted I didn't get to work him. Seemed to be a complete waste to have him working Mandrake over and over for about twelve shows. Not a knock on Mandrake at all, but it would've been good to mix it up, and give everyone the benefit of Doug's experience. Tracey Smothers was always cool to have around, and seemed to enjoy himself, and Balls Mahoney was nice, too, when he was sober! (A particularly vivid memory stands out from 2008 where we were dropping Balls back to his hotel in Dublin- from a show in Newry- and he was still in his gear, kneepads and all, and bleeding from the forehead. Made quite the impression on the Travelodge receptionist.) 'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan was a very nice man, and it was good to meet him in 2013, and Bob Holly struck me as another class act, from meeting him a few weeks ago at WZ.

NOT-SO-SOUND
Vito (formerly of WCW and WWE) behaved like a complete prima donna in a promotion where he was a guest. Raven, likewise, was a whingebag, complaining that there were non-workers (refs, IWW trainees and staff) on a coach bus down to Cork, from Dublin. Not cool, lads.


REGRETS?
One or two, to be honest. Regretted never getting the chance to avenge a train-wreck of a match I had with Kid Kash in 2007. I was capable of better, but it was what it was, and the dynamic of the match was more adversarial than collaborative, so it just wasn't good at all. Kash was with the promotion for the rest of a tour, but we didn't cross paths again. For my own part, I wanted to prove - to myself, not to him- that I could have a good match with the guy.

I also regret never having gotten a WWE tryout. I had a TNA one in 2011, but I knew it was just a cynical, money-making exercise for them, the whole GutCheck thing. Against my better judgment, I signed up, paid the application fee, and gave it a shot, under the heading of "nothing ventured, nothing gained." Being completely straight-up, if you'll pardon the immodesty, I was better than most of the guys there, but I knew TNA had their favourites from the off, so there was never a chance. Part of me was pissed off that I didn't get a look in, but another part of me knew it was inevitable. Regardless, I was happy with how I did, and it was an experience, for better or worse.

Lining out at the TNA GutCheck in London- January 2011

Not getting a chance to try out for WWE, though, when other- excuse the bitterness- much, much less deserving workers have done does irk me. I'm genuinely a realist - I know my strengths, and I damn sure know my flaws better than anyone else; saying that, though, I don't think the idea of me trying out or even working for WWE/NXT is that crazy or ridiculous. Certainly, during my 20s, I dare say that I ticked a good number of the boxes. It's a moot point, though, at this stage. I just regret never having gotten the chance to show what I can do, and give it my best shot; not for a lack of trying!


THE THINGS THAT MATTER
More than anything else, the amount of good-hearted people I've met through wrestling has helped make it all worthwhile. The crew we had in Irish Whip back in the 2006-2008 period was terrific, and it was a fun time to be a part of. Getting to run the Training School was a genuinely gratifying experience, in spite of the frequent struggle to meet the exorbitant rent. The School's closure in 2008, following a particularly lean period, was gutting, but I'm forever grateful for- and indebted to- the lads that came down every week, rain or shine: Colin, Keith, Hynesie and Seán were a pleasure to train with, and helped ease the burden of the falling attendance. I was pleased that they got their chance to shine on the few Gym Wars shows in 2008, before the place closed. The closure did lead to one thing, though, that still stands as one of the kindest things anyone's ever done for me: on the last day of training, the trainees presented me with a framed commemoration, with comments and dedications they'd written. Surprising, but touching, and I still have it, to this day.

My commemorative frame from the trainees of the IWW School. Awesome.

The last day of training, in August 2008

Without getting overly sentimental, or downright soppy, I'd be seriously remiss if I didn't offer a few thanks:

A thanks to the vast majority of people I've been in the ring with who have kept me safe, and helped me do what I do. You can't have a good match on your own, and I've been extremely privileged to have shared the ring with such great talent over the last ten years.

Thanks to the promoters who have given me a shot to work on your shows. An especially hearty thanks to the select few who conduct themselves professionally, and have treated me soundly and with respect.

To anyone who has supported me over the last ten years - thank you. Truly. To know there are people out there who value your work, and what you do, is an indescribable feeling. (Well, maybe it's not that indescribable: "awesome" is a fitting description.) I truly appreciate that.

And I'm not done yet.

(Credit: John Morrissey)

I Heartily Endorse #2: Dent Repair Express

I enjoy getting good service, and when I get it, I like to spread the word.

Earlier this year, while I was over visiting my parents one evening, a neighbour across the road accidentally backed into my car. There was (very luckily) no paint damage, but the impact left two minor dents around the front driver-side wheel arch. So far, so grrr....

The steam was taken out of the situation by the fact that the guy who did it - Chris, a fella about my age- came in straight away, owned up to the mistake, and offered to put right any damage that was caused. I love my car, look after it as best I can, and rely on it a lot. I always envisioned myself losing the rag with someone who caused damage to it! The fact that Chris had the integrity to acknowledge the damage, and assist with sorting it, completely changed the complexion of the incident. True to his word, he fixed me up for the cost of the repair, and was a gent to deal with. Considering the car could've been hit by someone who just caused the damage and fled, twirling their moustache fiendishly, I was very lucky. Very lucky indeed.

Prior to this piece of business, I would've had no cause to know what PDR stood for - it's paintless dent removal, by the way... The day after the collision, I started searching around for someone who could provide a PDR service in Dublin, and return the wheel arch to its prior state. I e-mailed/texted about six places; a lot ignored my query, or didn't bother getting back to me. The one who did got my business, and did a superb job, and they were Dent Repair Express.

They basically came to me- to where I park near work- took about 30 to 40 minutes, and had the arch looking absolutely brand-new once they were done. Sound lads, as well, to deal with, and a reasonable price of €80 to fix me up. Absolutely no complaints, and a great service provided, and for that reason I heartily endorse Dent Repair Express.

http://www.dentrepairexpress.ie/index.html

I Heartily Endorse #1: Jagten (The Hunt)

Originally, I'd intended this blog to deal primarily with my wrestling exploits, but I'm gonna go ahead and expand the parameters just a little bit, and include a feature on, simply, stuff I like! Anything, really - films, TV shows, restaurants, day-to-day stuff. I was toying with a few names, but finally settled on 'I Heartily Endorse...', after the Krusty the Klown line in The Simpsons ("I heartily endorse this event or product.") So, to kick off my first 'I Heartily Endorse...', is a cracking Danish drama called Jagten (or 'The Hunt'.)

'The Hunt' stars Mads Mikkelsen, who had impressed playing the villainous characters Le Chiffre (from Casino Royale) and, more notably, Hannibal Lecter in the TV series Hannibal. Mikkelsen really shows his range here, playing sympathetic protagonist Lucas, a man accused of an appalling crime.

The plot concerns Mikkelsen's character, Lucas - a divorced father of a teenaged son- who is now assisting in a local kindergarten, after the secondary school he was teaching at closed down. Though he has friends and a budding relationship with another carer in the kindergarten, Lucas leads a fairly lonely existence. He is a popular figure in the kindergarten, and has a genial, playful rapport with the kids there, in particular with Klara, the young daughter of his best friend, Theo. When he upsets Klara one day, however, she makes an accusation of sexual abuse against him to the kindergarten owner, and events spiral out of control, making Lucas a hated, vilified pariah in his local community.

To say any more would be to do a great disservice to this film. For me, it was one of the better films I've seen in quite some time, and an excellent portrayal of a witch-hunt, and the damage that an accusation of this nature can do to a person's character, and to their life in general.

The performances across the board were superb, not only from the adults Mikkelsen and Thomas Bo Larsen (playing Theo), but also Lasse Fogelstrøm (playing Marcus, Lucas' teenage son) and a remarkable showing from Annika Wedderkopp as Klara, Lucas' accuser, who sets everything in motion.

It's well-written, nicely paced, and brilliantly performed, and does leave a lasting impression. Definitely not comfortable viewing, but that shouldn't be an issue when a film actually has something to say; The Hunt definitely does, and I heartily endorse it.

The Ballance Sheet, Blog XXVI

My last blog opened with a show at a wedding and- weirdly- so does this one! In a 'Previously on the Bingo Ballance Show' kinda vibe, when I last left you guys, I'd wrapped up a Wrestling.IE festival show in Drumshanbo, Co. Leitrim, over the June bank holiday weekend. That wouldn't be my only venture into the squared circle that month, though...

WEDDING CRASHERS II: THIS TIME, IT'S PERSONAL!
Sandwiched in between the post-Christmas/pre-New Year period at the end of last year, I'd wrestled  a few matches at a wedding in Galway, at the Radisson Blu Hotel. Though it was grand, it wasn't the most enjoyable. In general, wrestling for a non-wrestling audience can be a mixed bag, and can be downright depressing at times, to be honest. Some of the festival shows I've done for Wrestling.IE have been a lot of fun, others have been like pulling teeth. One, in particular, in Portadown, was horrendous. I had two terrific guys to work with, in Seán Maxer and Dunkan Disorderly, but the crowd were the absolute shits, and it soured the experience, however much I enjoyed the matches we had.

Though I was glad to be a part of the entertainment for the wedding reception in Galway, I wasn't especially keen to repeat the experience, truth be told; I wouldn't have, had it not been for an MSW trainee that I had (and have) a lot of time for: Stuart 'Stuie' Williamson. Stuie had been there, if memory serves, for all the guest classes I'd done in Main Stage last year, and I found him to be humble, very hard-working, and just a bloody nice guy, in general. Had it not been his wedding, I would've turned down the invite to wrestle at the reception.

At any rate, the trip- made with Joe Cabray, who was good company- was a lot shorter than the previous wedding show, and it took less than an hour to reach the hotel in Bray, Co. Wicklow. The ring was set up in a car park abutting the back of the hotel; ordinarily, it wouldn't have been ideal, but the weather was rather nice, so it was fine. We had a hotel room to get prepared in, too, which helped, though it was a little cramped, and we were figuratively on top of each other!

I had a singles match to open the proceedings, with Bam Katraz. He & I have worked each other loads over the years, so it was a piece of cake, and an easy night's work. The crowd were alright; the other wrestlers tried to help make some noise, while the non-wrestling audience members looked on bemused. It was what it was. The match was grand, and I was happy to be a part of Stuie and Samantha's big day, but I'm officially retired as a wedding wrestler - heh heh.


TORN ASUNDER
Towards the end of June, after the wedding show, I tore my groin during a football game (a weekly kickabout), which was unpleasant, to say the least. I was chasing the ball, then had to suddenly and sharply change direction, and that did the damage. Rather than the inner thigh being affected, it was the area just below my belly button, so my upper groin/lower core had been put through the proverbial ringer. Walking was uncomforable, I couldn't run (one of my other favourite pastimes) and, for the first time since I started wrestling in 2005, I was out injured. (Ironically, not caused by wrestling.)

Over the next three months, it was incredibly frustrating to have to turn down bookings, and to see results and pictures from those shows going up on Facebook. I let that motivate me, though, and had the help of an awesome physio (Brian Crinnion of The Physio Company) to get me back to where I wanted to be. By the middle of September, I was back running again, and playing football regularly, and felt like I was ready to get back in the ring. I was hoping to get ring time to test out the injury, and see what I could(n't) do, but trying to organise training partners, and a session, proved too headache-inducing, and more hassle than it was worth, so it ultimately fell by the wayside. My first foray back into the squared circle would be on a show at the end of September, for Wrestling.IE.


COFFEY AND ABUSE IN 'NEESON COUNTRY' (AKA: BALLYMENA)
My first match back took place in Ballymena, towards the tail-end of September. The trip there was a mixed bag. Danny Butler and 'The Fabulous' Nicky were enjoyable to travel with, but (due to a number of issues) we arrived at the venue a mere thirty minutes before the show was due to start, and I was in the opener! Definitely far from ideal. That said, I managed to get my ass in gear (figuratively and literally) fairly quickly, and put a match together with Joe Coffey in about 5-10 minutes. The circumstances of our late arrival, and the short window to get ready, left me fairly stressed, but planning with Joe was an absolute dream. Super nice guy, and exceptionally easy to plan and work with, especially given we'd never worked together before.

Wearing down Joe Coffey with a rear chinlock, during our match in Ballymena. Thanks to John Morrissey for this shot

Our match was grand, though I felt a few steps off my usual performance- understandable, I guess, due to the three months out. (I was a heel for this, incidentally, which was a bit of a surprise, but an interesting subversion of the obvious size differential between us. Made a change to unleash- as show photographer John Morrissey likes to call him/me- 'Jerko Ballance'!)

That singles match wasn't the full extent of my involvement, though, as we had an 8-man tag to close the show: me, Nicky, Danny & Executioner against Dunkan Disorderly, Jake Mason, Dave Finlay Jr and Joe. Prior to the match taking place, though, there was an unusual turn of events. The rest of the heels and I were on the stage, shying away from taking part in any more action for the evening (as you do), when an elderly woman came out of the audience, slapped Danny across the face and swore at him! I wish I could say that he reacted immediately, grabbed the sassy septuagenarian and piledrove her through the stage, but that wasn't the case, unfortunately. He was a little shocked and bemused, as anyone would be, and the lady- for lack of a better term- was led back to her seat by the incompetent security detail. It was honestly like something out of the World of Sport era! You sorta assume that most people know the story these days, and appreciate that it's entertainment, but I guess that's not a safe assumption! The match proceeded as normal, and the lady was championed as some sort of 'Hero of the People' (and not as the incorrigible thug that she proved herself to be. Dreadful.)

The first show was out of the way, anyway,and I (very luckily) hadn't tweaked the injury especially; quite fortunate, since I hadn't time to properly warm up, due to our late arrival.

THE BUTLER DID IT
For the next two shows I worked (in Ballybofey, Co. Donegal, and in Waterford City), I had singles matches with Danny Butler which led into tag matches, where I teamed with Seán Maxer against Danny and Corvin (in Donegal) and Danny & Bonesaw (in Waterford.) Though I'd worked with Corvin and Bonesaw previously (in very enjoyable matches), I hadn't with Danny, bar maybe the very odd exchange in an 8-man tag, or something like that.

I'd thought (incorrectly) that Danny was more of a brawler, so I wasn't sure how well our styles would mesh. When it came down to it, though, our styles- rather than clashing- complemented each other well,  and I really enjoyed the matches I've had with him. I think we've developed quite a good chemistry over a short period of time. It's always cool to work with someone new, and click with them right from the off, and that's what's happened here.

Nailing Danny Butler with a Samoan driver - still need my own name for this move! If anyone has any suggestions, let me know. Thanks to John Morrissey for this shot from Waterford's Theatre Royal

The tags, too, were fun to do, and the crowd was nicely alive and into both of them.

TREADING NEW GROUND AND REVISITING OLD HAUNTS
The Ballybofey ("Bally-bo-fay") show was my first show ever in Donegal, so I managed to tick that off the list of Irish counties I've worked in. Only Clare and Roscommon left, I think. Waterford is somewhere I've worked loads of times over the years and enjoyed immensely, but it was weird this time to cross that bridge into the city, and not head straight towards The Forum (the previous venue for many the IWW show I did, and one CCW one last year- I think it's a bingo hall now.) We instead headed for the Theatre Royal, which was a fantastic venue, and nicely located.

Were it not for wrestling, there's no way I would've had the opportunity to see thirty of the thirty two counties on this island. It's been a great experience, getting to travel around to these places, seeing different sights and towns and villages, and doing something I love.

SCENTED CINEMA
Back in my early days in Irish Whip Wrestling, we made a few trips out to Drogheda, in nearby Co. Louth, and did shows at the Europa Hotel, just outside the town centre. Despite the low(ish) ceiling and having to change in a small area just outside the hotel kitchen, it was a great place to wrestle, and the fans were always lively and vocal. Amongst those, were four teenaged lads (Mike, Chris, Shane and Seán) who not only came to the Drogheda shows, but made the trip to Dublin to a few Gym Wars shows, along with some of the bigger ones in Donnycarney and Balbriggan. The lads were very supportive of yours truly, something which I've always appreciated. In fact, I got a king's chair from them (pictured below) when I won the Zero Gravity Championship Tournament in Balbriggan, in early 2007! The fact that they were there for a great moment in not only my wrestling career but my life in general still means something.

Getting a king's chair from the Drogheda lads, following the IWW Zero G tournament in January, 2007. Chris on my right, Shane on my left (with his hand dangerously close to the Ballance family jewels) and Mike on my far left, in red, pointing at some jerk...

So, when I heard from show photographer/regular backrake victim (heh heh) John Morrissey that Mike was filming a documentary ('The Art of the Squared Circle') with his production company 'Scented Cinema Productions' (https://www.facebook.com/ScentedCinema), I was pleased, and glad for the chance to catch up. Having Mike and his crew there for the last few shows has been nice, and they've been extremely sound to deal with, and just to chat to, in general.

I've done interviews for, and taken part in, the occasional documentary on Irish wrestling over the years. Some have been decent, some have completely missed the point, and some simply don't have a point to make, content to just throw a few clips and talking head interviews together, without any theme, rhyme or reason. I have faith that Scented Cinema will buck the trend, do justice to what we do, and reflect our efforts, dedication and hard work in a respectful light. I definitely look forward to seeing what they come up with.

LIFE IN THE (BEL)FAST LANE
The Waterfront Theatre in Belfast was the site of the last show for this blog. Nicely (and respectably) packed out, especially in the wake of a WWE show in Belfast's Odyssey the previous night, it was a nice place to wrestle (even in spite of having to deal with difficult staff corralling us into small areas of the venue.) I made the trip there with former WWE star Mason Ryan, TNA's Magnus and Vic Viper. Mason was a very sound guy, and I'd spent a few hours with him, having given him a lift from the ferry port in Dublin earlier in the day. (Wasn't the nicest day to travel across the Irish sea, incidentally, in light of lashing rain and very strong winds - I enquired if he'd brought his 'sea legs', but he replied that he only had room for one pair in his suitcase, and thought it best to pack his 'wrestling legs.' A good call, I'm sure you'd agree.) Vic, I've known for ages, and I'd met Magnus at a DPW show in Yorkshire back in 2008, so I knew what to expect there- heh heh.

I usually pack a few pairs of tights for a show, so I can have options of what colours to sport, as it were. Earlier this year, I got a pair made by my usual gear-makers (AWP, in Australia), in black, red and white. I was (and am) really happy with them but, unfortunately, there's been a lot of red & black gear on the shows I've done over the past while, and I generally like my gear to stand out, so I wear other colours.  As a result, I haven't really gotten a chance to wear them. The 'red and black attack' was no more obvious than this show, when I was in one of the dressing rooms backstage, and everyone else in the room was in those colours: Danny Butler, Bonesaw, Jake Mason (my partner that evening), Corvin (who changed to silver and purple) and Kazza G (who didn't- good for her!) There may have been one or two others, but they escape me. At any rate, my red and black went unworn again, and I elected to rock the black and turquoise. Sometime soon, the red & black will have its day! #firstworldwrestlerproblems

The infamous black and red gear- one day, it'll get another wear!

The match I had on the show was a lot of fun - I teamed with Jake Mason (sound dude) against Danny and Bonesaw. The crowd needed a little bit of persistence on our part to keep them clapping, chanting, booing and so on, but made noise in the right places and at the right times, and it was an enjoyable bout. That was it for my involvement in the show, which was headlined by a fatal fourway for the Wrestling.IE Championship pitting Dunkan Disorderly against Mason, Magnus and Drew McIntyre. (I'd done a number of shows with Drew back in IWW in 2005/2006, so it was nice to see him again, as well.)

Nailing Bonesaw and Danny with my unfortunately-named Sexual Harassment Plancha, during the Belfast show. Thanks again to John Morrissey for this fantastic shot. 

Leaving the place, and setting off home, took a bit longer than usual as the post-show meet & greet lasted a while and Mason was shooting a sit-down interview with Mike and the Scented Cinema lads. I did take the opportunity, though, to remind Kazza a few more times that I planned to kill her at some point in the near future. It's on my to-do list... At any rate, we managed to get back on the road around 11:30 and, after the drop-offs, I pulled into my local McDonald's drive-thru just before 2. Options are limited at that hour, and I'd usually either go for McDonald's or Hillbilly's - generally the latter's tempting fried chicken and gravy dip are too much to resist, but I didn't fancy further driving on the night that was in it, so "Maccy D's" got the nod.

The four shows I've done since returning from my short, injury-necessitated sabbatical have been fun, and I can definitely say that I'm happy to be back. There are still things I want to do, and hopefully I'll get the opportunity to do them over the next while.

NON-WRESTLING STUFF: FILMS
Since the last blog, I've seen a reasonable few films, so here's a quick rundown...

Transformers: Age of Extinction
Tedious, and way too long. I'm done with Michael Bay, at this stage. Shame to see Jack Reynor in this dreck- he was very good in What Richard Did.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
Very enjoyable. One of the best films I've seen this year. Great use of CGI for the incredible fightin' apes.

Guardians of the Galaxy
Enjoyed it, though I think it had been a little over-hyped for me, in advance. Definitely thought it was good, but I, personally, wouldn't say it was great or terrific, or anything like that. Think I'm a little superhero'd out!

The Purge: Anarchy
Better than the first, I think, in that it made better use of its premise. Still fairly light on characterisation, though.

The Expendables 3
Really enjoyed it. Mel Gibson was a fantastic villain. Great action and humour throughout

As Above, So Below
Decent horror. Has a few tense bits, and an interesting story/premise.

Lucy
Started ok, but went off the rails, and I didn't give a shit by the end. Reminded me of Transcendence, which went the same way, I felt.

The Guest
Up there as one of my favourites this year. Absolutely loved it, and had a grin plastered across my face for most of it. Pitch black humour, great action, and suitably thrilling in parts. Dan Stevens was a great lead.

Gone Girl
Another favourite. I read the book and absolutely hated the second half of it, especially the conclusion. The film (and performances) did a great job of improving on the ending, while not changing much about it. I really like David Fincher's work - Se7en is one of my favourite films- and this is another string to his already-impressive bow. Great film.

The Maze Runner
A pleasant surprise. Well-acted, an intriguing story, and more room to expand on that story. I'd certainly check out the sequel.

'71
Nicely suspenseful thriller, set during the Troubles, in Belfast. Good performances.

The Babadook
Not what I was expecting, but an interesting film in its own right. I thought this was going to be along the lines of Insidious or Sinister, but it played out more as a psychological thriller, and was all the better for going its own way. Liked it.

Interstellar
Christopher Nolan would also be a favourite of mine. His body of work tends to polarise but, to be honest, I've enjoyed everything he's released so far. Coming out from this film, I didn't know whether I liked it or not, which was a weird feeling! I was kinda the same when I saw Rob Zombie's Halloween II the first time- on a second viewing, I was able to make my mind up: it was shite. Interstellar, though, does not merit the same judgment, in my book. It does lack a little coherence, in terms of the bandying about of theories on relativity, gravity, and quantum mechanics, but the basic meat-and-potatoes story is sound, the acting's very good, and I loved the visuals and the score (definitely something different from Hans Zimmer.) I'd definitely watch it again, to try to get more of a grasp on the story, and what's going on. A very ambitious and original film in this day and age, in any case.

Nightcrawler
Great performance from Jake Gyllenhaal, who's really gone up in my estimations over the last few years, especially his great turn in Prisoners. This is more of a character piece than anything else. To be honest, not an awful lot actually happens, but it's fascinating to follow this amoral guy around, and see what transpires. Rene Russo was very good, too - hadn't seen her name pop up in years before this.

TV
On my viewing list over the past few months have been the likes of Friday Night Lights (superb - blitzed through the five seasons), Veronica Mars (enjoyable first season- plan to watch the rest), Fargo (solid show, but couldn't compare to the film), Arrow (brilliant second season, very promising third, so far), The Walking Dead (good fourth season), Love/Hate (a very impressive fifth series, whose finale was spoiled for me the morning after it aired by the hosts on FM104's Strawberry Alarm Clock - very inconsiderate.) In addition to those, I've been re-watching Seinfeld, American Dad, The Thick of It, Peep Show, and Family Guy. One of my favourites, though, of the last while (aside from Game of Thrones) was the low-key British crime thriller/mystery Broadchurch, which was absolutely outstanding. Why the Americans have felt the need to remake it as Gracepoint, I have no idea, but I have little interest in watching it. Currently checking out the Coven series of American Horror Story, which I'm enjoying so far.

WATER
I tend not (and prefer not) to get too political in these things, but it was great to see people protesting peacefully in Dublin, and throughout Ireland, recently, against the proposed tax for residential water, due to come in from January 2015. (I make the distinction between peacefully protesting, and the kind of scumbaggish carry-on being organised by the likes of the 'Dublin Says No' group; the kind of morons pushing and shoving Gardaí and water meter installers, then screaming assault and police brutality when they're pushed back, or subdued. They haven't a fucking notion about police brutality.) For my own part, I have no objection, in theory, to paying for water. I do think, however, that the establishment of Irish Water, the untold millions of Euros wasted on meter installation and consultants' fees, the inept lack of communication from the government on the nature of the taxes/fees (and their subsequent rowback on these), and the idea of awarding bonuses (even at this early stage) to underperforming IW employees has reduced the entire process to a three-act farce.

The whole program has been handled disastrously by the current government, and there's every possibility that they'll be punished for it, once the next general election comes around. Not that it'll make any difference in the grand scheme of things, incidentally - the main political parties in this country are interchangeable, while the others are perennial opposition parties. They wouldn't know what to do if they were given the proverbial keys to the country. (Does the country have keys? I'll look into that for the next one of these...)

BOOKS
Loved the new edition of The Death of WCW - great book, and excellent additions from recent storylines, and the WCW mistakes that TNA inexplicably repeated. Another one I enjoyed was 'Titan Sinking: The Decline of the WWF in 1995' by James Dixon (who also wrote the riveting 'All or Nothing' account on the rise and demise of UK promotion 1PW.) Despite going a little off Chris Jericho over the last while, due to the many self-aggrandising remarks he's made these last few years, his new book is also quite enjoyable, and reasonably insightful.

'Til next time, folks, take care.

The Ballance Sheet, Blog XXV

Hope 2014's been good to you, folks. My own's going pretty well, all told. Here's a few bits and pieces on the last six months.

WEDDING CRASHERS
Well, technically we were invited, and it was actually at the very end of 2013, but I'll include it here, anyway. My blog, after all... I wrestled at a wedding reception just after Christmas last year in the Radisson in Galway, working a singles match with Bam Katraz, and a tag match against him and Omen, where I teamed with Tucker. An interesting experience, and certainly the best-dressed audience I've ever worked for! The crowd- mostly non-wrestling fans (muggles)- were appreciative, though probably a little perplexed at the same time. It was after dinner, though, so I'd say a bit of the ol' gargle helped matters. No hiptoss into the wedding cake or superkicking the father of the bride mid-speech, unfortunately, but it was a grand evening nonetheless.


KEEP IT DOWN IN THERE!!
I worked two shows for Wrestling.IE this year in Funtasia, an indoor amusement park just outside of Dublin; similar enough to the Funderland attraction that comes to the RDS in Dublin every year, only it's there all year 'round. At any rate, it was a grand place to wrestle, and I had two enjoyable matches there, with Omen, and with Paddy Morrow. Before the show where I worked with Paddy, the whole crew was requested to keep the noise down and not to interact with the audience. Some neighbours in the area, as it turned out, had filed a noise pollution order against Funtasia, and solicitors would be in attendance with equipment to test the noise created from the show. I'm not shitting you- this actually happened! For an entertainment medium that thrives on noise and audience interaction, being asked to wrestle quietly and not appeal to the crowd was a new one on me, I have to say! That said, all went off without a hitch, and the crowd (seemingly) made just the right amount of noise, their air horns and vuvuzelas having been confiscated by The Man.


HIP, HIP, HOOR-OW!
On that Funtasia show, I was working heel against Paddy and, having tasted bitter defeat at his hands, I had a bit of business with match official Niall Fox, after the 1-2-3. I gave him a ferocious ear-bashing, shoved him, then charged at him as he returned my shove with force. Niall craftily low-bridged me (pulled the top rope down) and I went flying to the outside. Taking the exit theatrically, I overshot it somewhat, and went flying toward the audience, almost wiping out a young baby in a pram, in the front row! That could've been disastrous.. I teased returning to the back, but tried charging Niall again, only for him to low-bridge me a second time. This time, however, I missed grabbing the top rope and apron (to steady myself for a safe fall) and ended up essentially flipping from the ring straight to the floor, onto my hip. Not fun. Not fun at all. No major damage done, though - could've been worse. Damn ball-and-socket joints...


BACK TO WZ
I made my first trip of 2014 to Wrestlezone in April, working a six-man tag on their show in Westhill, teaming with Dave Patterson and Scotty Swift (two guys I have a lot of time for) against Chris Archer, Johnny Lions and Damien. Very enjoyable match, I have to say, which included a bit of brawling on the outside early on, and an amusing sequence where I tossed a stuffed animal at Damien's head, and he took a comically exaggerated back bump on the merch table! A fun match, and fun trip. Aer Lingus Regional were great to travel with- they usually are, when they're not striking! They got me back home in time for WrestleMania, anyway, with time to shower and carry out my standard gear-cleaning ritual (drowning my tights in Febreze, and reciting incantations from the Sumerian Book of the Dead), so all's well that ends well. (Photo credit: Baba.)

AN ULTIMATE EXIT
I started watching wrestling in 1991/1992, and The Ultimate Warrior was one of my favourites back then. Though time has shown his work to be a bit limited, and maybe not all it was cracked up to be, he still remains a very fond memory of my childhood. The circumstances of his untimely death, less than 24 hours after his appearance on Raw, were bizarre, to say the least, but it was great to see the sendoff WWE gave him the next week on Raw. A real shame, but if he achieved a sense of reconciliation, as he was reported to have done over the WM weekend, maybe there's a tiny bit of good to be taken from this.


PUTTING THE 'OATH' IN RATOATH (SWEARING TO PERFORM SIMULATED FIGHTING FOR MONEY)
A Friday evening show in Ratoath, Co. Meath (not far from Dublin) in April for Wrestling.IE was a fun affair. In stark contrast to the "rock 'n' roll" image that one might expect from a wrestling show backstage, ref Niall Fox came into the dressing room at one point to find me in my gear, ironing a shirt for the MC, Jamie. Not sure where the ironing board or iron came from, but I pressed that shirt like a boss, as they say (even though I'm not a manager, nor carry out any of the duties of a manager by proxy...) Don't let that image fool you, though- I was doing massive amounts of Class A substances later in the evening, including wolfing down a post-match supper of chips and a chicken & morphine pie- yum. My singles match with Omen led into a tag, with him and Corvin facing me and Jordan Devlin. That was very enjoyable, I have to say - a great crowd, and a very good match. I was surprised to see a guy named Darren in the audience that I'd gone to secondary school with, and got a quick chance to catch up with him at the meet & greet after. Having not kept in touch with anyone I went to school with, I'm surprised anytime I run into the lads to learn how many people actually know that I do this. I guess it's not your average, garden variety pastime, or whatever you want to call it. (Photo credit: John Morrissey Photography and Design.)

GRAPPLING IN GALWAY
The week after the Ratoath show, I had another show for Wrestling.IE; this time in Galway, at a venue called The Black Box. I travelled with old pal Vic Viper, and Tiny Iron, a sound dude from the UK, who's massive! Enjoyable trip. The turnout was fantastic, with almost 600 in attendance. I opened the show with Corvin, in a singles match, and it was a great experience. Terrific crowd, and loved working with Corvin again. Our last singles match had been a good while ago for PWU, in 2010 I think, and this topped it, I reckon. Definitely hope to get another singles with him this year.  (Photo credit: John Morrissey Photography and Design.)

ABERDEEN ANARCHY II
Really happy to have been part of WZ's biggest show of the year again- the Beach Ballroom is an incredible venue, and it was great to see the place packed out again this year, with almost 1,300 people in attendance. The production had been enhanced, too, with a large screen on the stage showing entrance videos, and professional lighting. It 'looked the business', as it were. Really enjoyed opening the show for the second year in a row, and had a blast working with Andy Wild again- he & I had had a match four years previously for SSW in Bathgate, and that was a lot of fun. Though it wasn't the match I'd been advertised for, I think it came off well, especially a sweet bicycle kick he hit me with out of the corner - looked like he'd taken my head off! The atmosphere backstage was great, for the most part, with the exception, perhaps, of a former WoS star who pretty much endeared himself to no one. It was nice catching up with the WZ guys, though, and getting the chance to chill out for the rest of the show. Managed to get some sightseeing done the next day, too, with a trip to Dunottar Castle in Stonehaven- a fun experience, even with the rain.  (Photo credit: Dod Morrison Photography)

SNAP, CRACKLE, NO POP
I headed to Downpatrick in Northern Ireland, on the last Friday in May, with Joe Cabray and Kazza G; a fun and relaxed journey. The venue (the Great Hall) was quite well-hidden, set back at the end of a long driveway, and around the back of a hospital. We got there in the end, though. I worked with Joe in front of a lifeless crowd. Every so often, you get an audience where you need to constantly stay on them to keep them clapping, and making noise. It's a pain, and this audience were particularly tough. It was a lot of effort, and I knew even before Joe & I had locked up that we were in for an uphill battle, remarking to ref Niall Fox: "Jesus, man, they're fuckin' dead. Shit crowd."  The match was grand, and I enjoyed working with Joe again, but they were popping for very little in any of the matches all night, so it's not one I'll look back on fondly. Strangely, during the post-show meet & greet, many of the fans were coming up, expressing how much of a great time they'd had, so I was totally non-plussed! That's the main thing, I guess... (The punters being happy, not me being confused.) As disappointing as it was that the crowd didn't really hold up their end, as it were, most of the people we met afterwards were very nice (with the exception of a young lad in a Miz T-shirt, who had appalling manners. "Please" and "thank you" go a long way.)  (Photo credit: John Morrissey Photography and Design.)

"REMEMBER THE DRUMSHANBO MASSACRE? THAT WAS HIM..."
 I actually thought Drumshanbo was made-up when this line appeared in an episode of Father Ted, but I can certainly attest to the fact, now, that Drumshanbo is indeed very much a real place! Taking part in an exhibition there for Wrestling.IE at the start of this month, and during a festival in the town, we wrestled outdoors, with the ring set up in the car park of a pub in the town. I worked with Joe again, in front of a better crowd, and thought the match was a good deal better than the one we'd had two days previous, in Downpatrick. I certainly enjoyed it more, anyway. We had a tag match, as well, as Joe and Paul Tracey took on me and Jordan Devlin, and that was fun, with the action spilling out onto the Main Street at one point! Festival shows can be hit and miss, depending on who turns out to watch, but this was one of the better ones. Incidentally, the special guest of the town's parade, just after we'd finished, was David Rawle, star of Sky 1's excellent Moone Boy.


NINE-IVERSARY
This month marks nine years for me in the ol' grap game. Paradoxically, it seems like a lifetime ago since I stepped into that ring in Baldoyle and took my first bump, and yet it also seems like the time's just flown by. It's been a largely enjoyable nine years and, though I'd be lying if I said I've loved every second of it, I can definitely say that it's mostly been a fun and fulfilling experience, and one that's changed my life immeasurably. I've no idea where any of this is going, but I'm enjoying the journey while I'm on it.


RANDOM NON-WRESTLING RAMBLINGS

Very impressed with Season 4 of Game of Thrones - can't recall seeing a bad episode of it thus far, I have to say. Amazing show. Just a shame there's only ten episodes in each season. Though I would've said that the plot with The Wall/Castle Black was the one I was least interested in, I thought the ninth episode ('The Watchers on the Wall') that only featured this story was superb. At the time of writing this, the finale is due in two days' time - look forward to seeing how they wrap up the season.

Checked out House of Cards this year. Enjoyed it for the most part, and was really impressed with the performances from Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright, but it never really hooked me, to be honest. I'll check out Season 2, though. Hopefully, it'll pick up a bit.

Same goes for Hannibal. Didn't hook me during the first season, but there are enough intriguing elements there to keep me watching.

Didn't like the finish of Dexter, and it left a bad taste. One of the more disappointing finales for me since The X-Files, another show I really loved.

Loved the first season of Arrow, and looking forward to checking out S2.

Currently watching True Detective, and will probably have finished it by the time this goes up. HBO are on fire at the moment.

Added a second session of football to my weekly schedule this year, playing astro on Tuesdays now. Great fun, aside from the blisters! I don't watch a lot of football, but I do enjoy playing it, weirdly.

Been mainly playing Dishonored this year. Great game, and one of the better ones I've played in a while. Having repercussions for your actions is an interesting aspect, especially since I'd generally adopt a "kill 'em all, ask questions later" approach.

I'm no fan of One Direction, but I had to say I found it ridiculous that people were claiming they'd abused their positions as role models by smoking marijuana. Yes, they were stupid beyond belief for filming it, but they're young lads at the end of the day. They're entertainers, not role models. Parents shouldn't be expecting celebrities to set examples for their kids- they should be setting them, themselves. (Says the man with no kids, I know, but it's my opinion, regardless.)

In a similar vein, I kinda went apeshit at a screening of Robocop a few months ago, yelling at some noisy, ill-mannered teenagers to "shut the fuck up". I'll just about tolerate someone talking over an action scene, but speak over a dialogue scene, and that's too far. Surprisingly, they actually did shut up, which I wasn't expecting. A much, much worse group arrived in 45 mins into the film, though, and they caused pandemonium, making a ferocious racket, and causing several people to go out and complain to the cinema staff. I did get two free passes from the experience, though, so no harm done, I guess. Appalling cinema etiquette in this case, though.

I have a reasonable interest in politics, but I genuinely believe there's no hope for reform or improvement in this country with any of the current political parties. Short of a complete overhaul of the political system, we are doomed to incompetence, corruption and malpractice forever more. Depressing, but realistic, I believe.

         
Currently re-reading Mockingjay, the last book in the Hunger Games series. Absolutely hated it the first time I read it, but I'm about 250 pages into my second go, and it's better than I remember. Look forward to seeing how they get on with the films.

Loved X-Men: Days of Future Past - great story, and some excellent acting. Terrific job resetting the franchise.

I know this isn't a new thing by any means, but what the fuck is the story with lads going around in public with their hands down the front of their pants? I was at the bus stop the other evening, and some young fella was sitting on the bench yakking on the phone with one hand, with the other wrist-deep down the front of his tracksuit bottoms groping his balls. It's not 'hard', and it's not 'gangsta' - it's just pure fucking scummy carry-on.

'Til next time, guys, take care

- Gary

The Ballance Sheet, Blog XXIV

Wrapping up the year soon, folks, so I think a few words are in order about what's gone down in 2013...

 
FAVOURITE MATCHES


Had two favourites this year: with 'Fabulous' Nicky at CCW Revolution, back in May, and with Stevie Xavier, at WrestleZone's Aberdeen Anarchy show in June. Two great guys, two incredibly enjoyable matches, and two amazing crowds. Definitely hope I get the chance to work with both guys again, down the line.

My other more enjoyable matches this year were with Jordan Devlin, Bam Katraz, and BT Gunn, amongst others. It's been a good year, and I've had the opportunity to work with some superb talent, and in front of some great audiences.

 


vs Nicky (CCW)  1

vs Stevie (WrestleZone)  2



 

    




NIGHTMARE SHOW

A Wrestling.IE show I did in July was an absolute, unmitigated nightmare. I was driving there with Seán Maxer, Danny Butler, and referee Niall Fox. I picked up Niall first, in Liffey Valley, in Dublin, after I'd finished work on the Friday. I was due to pick up Seán and Danny shortly after, at the Tesco in Naas. Unfortunately, due to my lack of knowledge of the Naas area, it turned out that there were actually TWO Tescos in Naas. Seán and Danny were waiting at one, I was at the other, and no one had anyone's numbers. The internet on my phone was out of commission, too, so I couldn't access Facebook or Twitter to get in touch. We ended up working it out, and meeting up, but the delay of nearly an hour set us back, and we were later than usual arriving at the venue for the show in New Ross, in Wexford. My petrol was low as we pulled into New Ross but, due to how late we were arriving, I thought it best to top up once the show was over.



vs Bonesaw (Wrestling.IE)  3

  I worked Bonesaw that night. We've had some really good matches together- unfortunately, on this night, it wasn't one of our better ones. Definitely hoping to work with Bonesaw again in the near future, though, as he's one of my favourite opponents.

The nightmare truly began, though, once the show was over. The post-show meet & greet with fans lasted ages, and by the time we got out, it was after 11. I pulled into the Topaz service station up the road literally just as they were bringing down the shutters, and had switched off the pumps. The guy working there was apologetic, but couldn't help, and told us he didn't know of anywhere nearby that would still be open at that hour.
 

What followed from there was an hour and a half of me searching for petrol stations on my SatNAV, driving from place to place, in search of fuel. A Campus Oil station nearby had a 24 hour pump- but only for diesel. A Tesco petrol station- purportedly open 'til midnight- had closed at 10pm. Several other Topazes were also closed. With my fuel gauge well below 'E', and the warning light glaring mockingly in my face, I was anticipating the car just coming to a stop in the middle of nowhere, and having to spend the night there. Thanks to some directions, over the phone, from a friend of show photographer John Morrissey, I ended up taking us to Waterford- 20 to 30km away- where we finally found a 24 hour service station, I topped up, and was hit by a tidal wave of relief. (Definitely relief on a par with a "post-exam piss.") A very, very, very stressful day.


LOCATION, LOCATION, (DIS)LOCATION

This year, a feud developed in CCW between myself and Ross Browne. Ross had ruffled a lot of feathers- my own included, initially, I'll admit- and earned a fair amount of derision with comments on radio shows and in interviews, in the weeks leading up to CCW's show in August of this year. Having never met the guy prior to this show in Waterford, I didn't know what to expect from him.

Pull-apart brawl between Ross & me at CCW   4

I've mostly done 'one-and-done' shows around the place for the last few years, so haven't really had the chance to do angles, especially not stuff involving shoot/semi-shoot material. Starting from a place where you don't really know someone, it's a tricky situation to gauge how far you can go with comments before you begin to cause ACTUAL offense, and irritation. I know Ross' remarks caused upset and annoyance to a good few people, but strictly from my own point of view, he was grand to deal with, and sound with me, and that's all I can go off. The comments (about me, anyway) never crossed a line.

The irregular nature of CCW's schedule, unfortunately, didn't really allow us to do much in the way of feud-building on shows, themselves; due to promos and stuff on social media, however, there was a little anticipation heading into our match at the end of November, in Cork.

Unfortunately, on that night in Cork, the blow-off to our feud didn't deliver. Through a horrible spot of bad luck, Ross dislocated his shoulder quite badly, early into the match. Three very uneasy minutes passed, as he tried to pop it back into its socket, with no luck. Having done this a while, I'm fairly comfortable in the ring, and am happy enough that if something goes wrong during a match, I can cover it and move on. As Ross was across the ring in the far corner, though, I genuinely had no idea what we were gonna do, and felt pretty helpless. The crowd were getting restless, and a sarcastic "this is wrestling" chant broke out.

The ref for the match was Adam Abz, Ross' former tag partner, and I was glad he was in there. A green/rookie ref wouldn't have had a clue what to do with the situation, but Adam- as a wrestler, himself- knew when I was working, and trying to buy some time for Ross. On a more personal level, at the planning stages, he pushed for a finish that would keep me looking strong. He didn't have to do that. I was on my way out, and wrestling precedent would have it that the guy sticking around is the one who comes out looking the strongest. Though the finish he suggested, unfortunately, didn't come to pass in the end, I greatly appreciated that he tried to give me one that would allow me to go out with dignity and respect. It was an extremely sound and classy thing to do, especially since- at the time- he didn't (excuse the pun) know me from Adam. Heh heh. Nice guy.

At any rate, Ross was unable to pop his shoulder back in, and we had a massively shortened match, lasting under ten minutes. It was a mess. Everyone was disappointed- me, Ross, the fans in attendance. It was a shame the way it went down, but it happens. I attended a show in 2005, before I started training, between Jody Fleisch and the original Irish Dragon. Very early into the match, Dragon and Fleisch both went to nip up simulataneously after a spot, but Dragon caught Fleisch's heel in his face, accidentally, breaking his nose. The match wrapped up soon after, with a quick roll-up. Obviously, I'm sure they intended a longer match, but the safety of the competitors should always take precedence. I was disheartened and disappointed not to get to work the match with Ross that we'd talked about, but not at the expense of his well-being.

The whole angle was an interesting experience, nevertheless, and I enjoyed my time with CCW. It was cool to be crowned their first Heavyweight Champion, the road trips to Cork were a blast, and I had some very enjoyable matches there.


TRAINING

Having done a whole blog for Irish News Review on the subject of training before, I won't re-hash content. I will, however, say that I have had the pleasure this year of doing a number of really, really enjoyable classes. Two for Wrestlezone in January and October, and three for MSW, in the latter few months of the year. Though all were fun, a recent class in MSW with eleven participants stands out the most. It was a jam-packed three hours of work, everyone put in a great effort, and I was (corny as it sounds) really inspired by the potential on display. I love teaching, and I love wrestling. Put them together, and I'm a happy chappy. (Like this fellow, below, just less jaundiced and ever-so-slightly less evil...)

　

CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC

As I head into 2014, I do so with a reasonable amount of hope and- dare I say- optimism. A number of things this year have helped put me in a good place, mentally. Regular ring time in MSW has helped me restore confidence and tighten up my ringwork, allowed me to dust off a few classics from my 'vintage Bingo Ballance' repertoire, and make a few new friends, which always helps. If it's not fun, there's no point doing it, but I'm enjoying myself at the moment, and looking forward to what's to come.


FILMS

Good year for films, all told. My own Top 5, of those I've seen, and in no particular order: Django Unchained, The Conjuring, The Way Way Back, Prisoners and The Hunger Games: Catching Fire.

Also saw the following: Jack Reacher (decent); The Last Stand (fun); Lincoln (good performance from DDL, but pure Oscar baiting); Stoker (intriguing, understated thriller); Broken (nice comedy/drama with Tim Roth and Cillian Murphy); Trance (intriguing story and performances); Evil Dead (solid enough remake); Olympus Has Fallen (refreshingly gritty action film); Star Trek Into Darkness (typical, by-the-numbers summer blockbuster, and a letdown, bar Benedict Cumberbatch's performance); The Purge (didn't capitalise on its interesting premise); Man of Steel (dia-fucking-bolical; worst film I've seen this year); Now You See Me (was moving along nicely until its awful twist); World War Z (decent action, but not great, character-wise); The World's End (so-so; Simon Pegg's character was incredibly unlikeable); The Frozen Ground (never got out of second gear); Kick-Ass 2 (better than the first, bar a dodgy CGI scene, and a bizarre Union J scene); Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa (much funnier than I thought it would be); You're Next (fun horror); Insidious: Chapter 2 (not great- actually managed to ruin one of the scarier scenes from the original!); Escape Plan (good action, and an impressive villainous turn from Jim Caviezel); About Time (enjoyable- nice performances, particularly from Bill Nighy); Captain Phillips (decent, though I saw it while tired); Philomena (excellent comedy/drama, and nice to see Steve Coogan in a dramatic role); Gravity (visually impressive, and pretty good story); and The Fifth Estate (above average, and another solid performance from Benedict Cumberdale.)


TV THIS YEAR

Breaking Bad, to my mind, ended well, and I was mostly satisfied with how everything wrapped up. An impressive final season. Deserving of the praise it's received.

Game of Thrones has taken its place as one of my absolute favourite series I've seen in quite some time. Wonderful stuff, and jaw-dropping at times. A refreshingly unpredictable show.

Worked my way through all five seasons of Six Feet Under, and really enjoyed it. I, however, only made it through three seasons of True Blood- turned off Season 4 after the first ten minutes of fairy shit. Realised I didn't give a monkey's about the characters or where the story was going. Not curious either. Shame.

Finished Season 3 of The Walking Dead recently, and was impressed by it. A strong season.

I had put off watching Irish crime show Love/Hate for so long, as I really don't think a great deal of RTÉ-produced shows; their track record is not good. Love/Hate is an exception, though, and I've enjoyed the first four series very much.

I was impressed by S7 of Dexter; having not thought a great deal of the fifth or sixth seasons, the seventh was a pleasant surprise. I'll get around to the last season soon.

Watched- and enjoyed- the first two seasons of American Horror Story. Interesting stuff. Bates Motel started interestingly, too, but lost a bit of edge as it went along, and finished on a slightly disappointing note.

Watched- and rewatched- The Thick of It a good bit this year- really witty and enjoyable show.


GAMES

Stuck mainly to four games this year- Hitman: Absolution was really enjoyable. Loved the first two Uncharted games for the terrific, engrossing story and the easily-accessible gameplay. The Last of Us, however, gets the nod for my favourite game played this year. Amazing story, and beautifully acted. I'm not a huge zombie/apocalypse fan, but this was just incredible. Plan on moving on to either Uncharted 3 or Heavy Rain next, and hoping to pick up Arkham Origins soon.

Thanks for reading, folks. 'Til next time, take care.

(Photo Credits: 1- Martin Dunne; 2- Baba Krzykwa; 3- John Morrissey; 4- Martin Dunne)

The Ballance Sheet, Blog XXIII

Long time since I’ve done one o’ these bad boys! So..., what’s been going on since last- what was it?- August? Let’s get down to it.

 Rained-out.

Did two outdoor shows last September and October, in Cavan and Meath, respectively. Both were round-robins, where I worked with two other guys in singles matches and a triple threat; the first, in Cavan, was with Johnny Notaro and JC Williams, while the second (in Fordstown, Meath) was with JC again, and Bam Katraz. The risk of rain at these shows became a reality on both occasions- we were drenched in Cavan during the conclusion of the triple threat match, and soaked a few times during the one in Meath. It was quite funny, slipping and sliding all over the ring- it impacted fairly negatively on the Meath show, but kinda added to the finish of the Cavan triple threat, in a weird kinda way. (It was like Rihanna’s rain-soaked performance of Diamonds on last year’s X Factor, only much sexier! Heh heh.) I thought it a bit strange to have Town & Country Fairs in mid-autumn, knowing the unpredictability of Irish weather, but that’s neither here nor there. Both days were fun, regardless.

 

Smoked-out.

My fellow former IWW alumnus Brother Skelly ran a show in early October, in aid of the cancer ward of St. James’ Hospital, in Dublin, and a good show it was, too. I worked ‘The Pride of Wales’ Eddie Dennis in an enjoyable match- very nice guy, too. Prior to the show, the  local kids in Quarryvale laid siege to the venue, kicking the doors, throwing footballs and basketballs at the windows, and trying to smoke us out, like badgers! They actually lit fires under the emergency exits, billowing smoke into the venue! First time I’ve experienced that, I must say. It was a good night, though, and a fun show, and Skelly raised a nice bit of money for a very good cause.

 

 

 

Ruling WrestleZone.

Well, not really, but it does make for a good title! I had a trilogy of shows for WrestleZone between October and early January of this year, and was involved in the Undisputed Title scene for those events. I captured the Title in Garthdee in October, defeating Johnny Lions, successfully defended it in December (in Summerhill) against Aspen Faith, then dropped it back to Lions in January. Enjoyable matches, all three, I have to say, and it was a cool experience holding the WZ Championship for that period of time.

 

Training

The three shows in WZ also allowed me the chance to do some more training with the WZ guys, and they were very enjoyable sessions. The January one, in the Cloverleaf Hotel, was particularly good, and I was really impressed by the efforts of all involved. Great bunch o’ lads.

 

My nipples could cut glass

Well, not at the moment, but back in January- at the Cloverleaf show for WZ- they definitely could’ve. It was very cold at the time, and the snow was thick on the ground, in Aberdeen. The backstage setup for the evening was a room in the hotel, across the yard from where the show was being held, and we’d be coming in through the emergency exit. Misjudging my cue, I headed across a bit early to wait outside with Johnny, forgetting that Dave Patterson would be announcing the second big star to be part of the June 1^st show at Aberdeen’s Beach Ballroom. (It was Billy Gunn.) Dave’s a true showman, and has excellent dramatic timing, but I could’ve shot him that night! I was outside, topless, and freezing my nipples off. As I say in the title: they could’ve cut glass! Dave was punctuating the announcement with dramatic pauses and playing to the crowd- quite rightly- while I was growling for him to “make the fucking announcement!” Heh heh. WZ’s Chris Archer very kindly draped his jacket over me while I waited, in an exceptionally good gesture, which managed to provide a bit of warmth as we waited. I’ll be part of that Beach Ballroom show next month, and am very much looking forward to returning to WrestleZone.

 

Coalisland- not an island. Not even a peninsula or tombolo.

It was, however, the site of a very enjoyable show in mid-November at The Craic Theatre, in Co. Tyrone. In a rare heel outing, I teamed with Vic Viper to face Shawn Maxer and Jordan Devlin in an exciting, and spirited tag match. Great crowd that night, a lovely venue, and a very enjoyable match.

 

Sparring buddies.

Training’s something I’ve always enjoyed, and I love the chance to try out stuff in a relaxed, informal setting. Training folks in IWW, back in the day, was a very rewarding experience, as were the few seminars I’ve done in the UK, since. These days, I’m getting a great deal of enjoyment from getting ‘ring time’ in Dublin’s Main Stage Wrestling. My regular sparring buddies Conor and Hynesie (another former IWW alumnus, and trainee of mine, back in the day) are great guys, and good fun to work with, and it’s been cool, too, working, on occasion, with the likes of Kazza G, Johnny Notaro, Bam Katraz, and Irish Dragon. Nice facility, good people, and I had the opportunity to work a show for MSW recently, in Tallaght, which was a very enjoyable experience.     

 

Raising the roof.

I worked a show for CCW in Cork, on Patrick’s Day this year, and it was good fun. Very, actually. Nice atmosphere backstage, and a fun trip down with Conor, Hynesie and Niall Fox. (In a bizarre sight, we witnessed a massive prison van violently rocking back and forth on a Topaz forecourt just outside Laois!) Traffic was crazy in Cork city- roads were closed off, due to the parade, and some of the hills leading to the venue were absolutely insane. I’ve been driving about eight years, and I’ve never experienced hills like that!

 

The roof in the venue was extremely low; a fact I experienced first-hand in my match with The Executioner. He picked me up to bodyslam me, and my feet went through one of the ceiling panels sending dust and pieces of plasterboard scattering into the ring! The fans popped, so we went with it, and he held me up for a stalling suplex, my feet going through another one of the ceiling panels above the ring! Later into the match, I actually put his head through the roof, as we were both standing on the top/second rope, as the fans chanted “no deposit”! Heh heh.

 

We were joined by Kazza on the trip back, and decided to stop off somewhere for food, on the journey. We ended up at a nice place called Morelli’s in Cashel, Co. Tipperary, where we could sit down, have some grub, and stretch our legs. What compelled me to pull off at the Cashel exit, drive all the way through the town, and head to this particular spot, I’ve no idea, but that’s where we ended up. Very strangely, this is where Vic Viper, Siren, JC Williams and The Hotshots also turned up, just as we were wrapping up our meal. The journey to Cork is about three hours, give or take, so the odds of all of us descending on this chipper in Tipperary were pretty astronomical. Funny coincidence, though.

 

Getting my mojo back.

The next show for CCW at the start of this month, in Bishopstown, Cork- the site of the début show- was amazing. It felt like the ‘2007 version’ of myself took the wheel and said “move over, you old geezer- I’m driving.” Genuinely, it was the best, and most confident, I’ve felt in ages; years, possibly. I micro-analyse my matches to death, and am rarely totally happy with them. There’s always something I wish I did differently, or something I’d hoped would’ve come off better and, for quite a while now, I’ve felt like I’m a step or two (or three) off what I used to be. On this night, however, the stars aligned, and I had two of my favourite matches in ages on the same night.

 

I worked with Conor (my sparring buddy) in a singles match, and really, really enjoyed it. The crowd were absolutely phenomenal all night, and a loud, responsive audience really helps you raise your game. Conor was excellent, as ‘Fabulous’ Nicky M, and really ‘brought it’. I’ve had a good few matches over the last few years where my attention’s been a little diverted from my own performance, as I’ve been concerned that whoever I’ve been working with isn’t lost- this was not one of those times, and it was liberating to be able to trust that we were on the same page, and just go with it. Everything went pretty much as I hoped it would, and it was just bloody good fun. I was extremely impressed by Conor, and really enjoyed working with him.

 

 

That match was a qualifier for the Fatal 4 Way main event, which would crown the first CCW Heavweight Champion. I worked the main event with Vic Viper, Irish Dragon and The Executioner, and it was brilliant fun, as well. The crowd remained lively and energetic, and I think all four of us played our parts very well. If I had to sum up my thoughts on the match, I could do so in two words: “Fucking dynamite.” Everything just seemed to fall into place, and the crowd were really into it- couldn’t ask for more.  

 

Heading to the show that day- with Conor, Hynesie, Kazza, and ref James Arnold- I was definitely not expecting to win that match. At all. Bonesaw approached me earlier in the day, shook my hand and said “congratulations” (a running joke, since none of us knew who was ‘going over’ for the Title.) I believe I told him to fuck off, good-naturedly! He was right, in the end. My bad.

 

It was a great night, a great show, and an incredible confidence-boost. Definitely did not expect to be given the nod to be the promotion’s first champion, but I was- and am, at the time of writing this- very happy and proud to be. Unexpected, but a terrific experience.

 

The trip back involved a return to Morelli’s, in Cashel, and another nice meal there, with Hynesie, Conor, Kazza and James. Good place, friendly staff, and nice food.

 

It was a great day, and I’m hoping the ‘2007 version’ of me will stick around for the foreseeable- if he does, this could be a good year.

 

TV

Got through all five seasons of Six Feet Under in a few months, and really enjoyed it- brilliant show, and an excellent finale. Six Feet Under led me on to True Blood, which I’m currently watching. (True Blood was created by Alan Ball, who also created SFU, and wrote American Beauty.) Seasons 1 & 2 of TB were enjoyable, but I’m struggling through S3 at the moment- not hooked, and the quality’s dipped quite a bit. Hoping it’ll pick up, but I’m halfway through the season, and nothing had piqued my interest so far, really.

 

Got Fringe S5 on the way- really enjoyed the fourth season. Great show. Also looking forward to S7 of Dexter, S3 of Boardwalk Empire, and the fifth season of Breaking Bad. A friend of mine also put me on to American Horror Story, so I’ll be giving that a shot soon, too. I thought S2 of The Walking Dead was a massive improvement on the average first season, and am looking forward to giving S3 a go, as well.

 

Got very much into Peep Show, but felt the quality dipped a little after Series 4. The wedding episode that ended that series was fantastic- in a way, it would’ve been a fitting end to the show, but there have still been good episodes since then.

 

Films

For those who care, my top ten of 2012 were as follows: 1) The Dark Knight Rises. 2) TIE: Argo, and Cabin in the Woods. 4) The Hunger Games. 5) Contraband. 6) Chronicle. 7) Seven Psychopaths. 8) Lawless. 9) Safe House. 10) What Richard Did.

 

Honourable mentions to Avengers Assemble, Skyfall and The Amazing Spider-Man, while The Cold Light of Day, Red Lights and Total Recall were amongst the most disappointing ones of the year.

 

This year, so far, I’ve been impressed by Django Unchained, Trance, and Iron Man 3. I found Lincoln a little boring, and lacking in subtlety, but thought Daniel Day-Lewis was very good. Curious to see how Man of Steel and the sequel to the Hunger Games turn out, later in the year.

 

I loved David Fincher’s version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo last year, and I really hope they complete the trilogy with Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara. Even if they don’t, it’ll still stand as a bloody good thriller; one of the best I’ve seen in a few years.

 

That’s it for the moment, folks. Hopefully, won’t be too long ‘til I do another one of these, but keep an eye on the Irish News Review site, for my semi-regular articles.

 

Thanks for reading.